The Boys' Growing Up in the Lord

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I'm a late bloomer as well. I had pubic hair and could ejaculate when I was 14. But when I grew up, all my friends had thick bushy armpit hair; some even developed facial hair when they were 16. I'm 20 now. I just got a little bit of armpit hair but a fair amount of facial hair, which I shave. My brothers and dad have a lot of armpit hair. I'm 20 now and mine is so little. I want to have a lot of thick and bushy armpit hair. I want to be more masculine like my friends and siblings. What can I do? Is something wrong with me?

Actually, from your description your development followed a fairly typical time frame. First ejaculation usually comes about the time of your growth spurt, which happens in the average boy between the ages of thirteen and fourteen. Perhaps most of your friends were early, but you were right on time. To estimate what stage of development you are in, see the Tanner Stage Calculator for Boys.

Different people, even in the same family, can inherit different combinations of genes from their parents. As an example, people from the south Asian parts of the world tend to have very little body hair. I have met Filipino men who never shave. It is not worth the effort since they only get a few facial hairs; instead, they pluck those few hairs out. People from northern Europe tend to be very hairy with even thick fur across their backs. And then there is everything in between.

The problem is that you are judging masculinity by the amount of hair a person's body produces. What does this have to do with being a man? I've seen strong, athletic men in the Philippines who have almost no body hair, just as I have seen strong, athletic men in Europe who are covered in hair. Nor is the amount of body hair going to determine your ability to have children or the number of children you might have or how wonderful sex will be with your wife. Believe me, no woman worth having as a wife is going to be inspecting your underarms for hair quantity.

Like many people, you think everyone else has it better. You are not content with who you are, but have decided that you would be happier if you had something else. You are as God made you. "Not that I speak in regard to need, for I have learned in whatever state I am, to be content" (Philippians 4:11).

Think about it for a moment and then tell me: What makes a male a man? What characteristics do you see in men that you admire that you would want to imitate? Quantity of hair, color of hair, color of skin, height and so much more are merely outward appearances. These things make a person recognizable as a unique individual, but they don't describe a person as a man's man. How a person behaves, his strength of character, his courage, his willingness to shoulder burdens, and so many other things are the things that make a human male into a man. And funny thing, it is those things which you can control! Yet here you are obsessing over things out of your control. You've physically have grown up, now it is time to spiritually grow up.