The Boys' Growing Up in the Lord

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If you don't remember, I'm the young man struggling with nocturnal emissions and masturbating.  I am currently preparing to head for college next week and am struggling with the idea of dorms.  I have an intense fear of ejaculating, and in my case that means stripping while asleep in my dorm room with my roommate in the same room.  I feel sincere anxiety when I think that I may embarrass myself in this way and have absolutely no control over it.  If you have time, I would greatly appreciate any thoughts to waylay these fears.  I've greatly appreciated your previous comments and help on this matter.


Jesus once spoke at length about the topic of worries or fears (Matthew 6:25-34). People have a tendency to worry about a lot of things, but almost all of them deal with things over which they have no control. I get lots of questions from people worried about their height, but Jesus said, "Which of you by worrying can add one cubit to his stature?" (Matthew 6:27). You might have taken a test and then spend the night worrying about whether you passed, but once again it is something over which you have no control. Worries do not change things.

One of the odd things about worries and fears is that we make up a lot imaginary "what if" scenarios. But the reality is that almost none of those things take place.

So let's take your fears and look at them one at a time.

  • You're afraid that your roommate will see you naked. But the reality is that if two guys are sharing sleeping quarters, you are bound to see each other naked once in a while. It is hard to change clothes in the same room without it happening from time to time.
  • You're afraid that your roommate will notice that you have an erection. He probably will tease you about it, but the reality is that he has them too. It is a part of being a male.
  • You're afraid that he will notice you had an nocturnal emission. The reality is that he has had them as well. He might not strip in his sleep as you happen to do, but he knows from personal experience that wet dreams happen.

There are always people who like to have power over others and won't miss an opportunity to taunt someone about things -- especially if they perceive it as a point that bothers you. But most likely you will find that your roommate will be so relieved to learn that someone else has the same problems he does that he won't say much about it other than to confirm that he is just as human as you are. Just be matter of fact about it when it happens. Clean up in the morning. If your roommate asks, just matter-of-factly say you had another wet dream last night and continue about your business. If you don't make a big deal about it, neither will he.