The Boys' Growing Up in the Lord

Share this page with your friends

Bookmark and Share

Question

How can I get any girl to be sexualy attracted to me? Can you suggest a body spray which I can use to attract a girl to me?

Siddhesh


Answer

You are approaching the problem of getting noticed by a girl in the wrong way and, thus, not having much success. You are thinking like a typical guy going fishing, if you have the right bait you are bound to get a nibble. But girls don't think like guys, nor are they mindless (which they would have to be for a scent to make them fall in love).

If you are serious about finding a wife and not just someone to share your bed for a night or two, then understand what a woman wants from a man. Sure good looks and a nice smell might get you noticed at first, but marriage is about companionship. "She is your companion and your wife by covenant" (Malachi 2:14). Women deal in terms of relationships and the interplay of emotions between people. Therefore, a woman is going to be interested in a man with whom she can relate; that is, someone she can talk to and have interesting discussions.

You can see this in the Song of Solomon. Solomon courts Shulamith by wanting to listen to her talk. "O my dove, in the clefts of the rock, in the secret places of the cliff, let me see your face, let me hear your voice; for your voice is sweet, and your face is lovely" (Song of Solomon 2:14). Even after they have been married for a long time, he says, "You who dwell in the gardens, the companions listen for your voice - let me hear it!" (Song of Solomon 8:13).

To find a woman worth having, you need to invest time in getting to know her -- her likes, her dislikes, and what she sees as important in life. The way to get a girl's interest is to talk where you mostly listen.