The Boys' Growing Up in the Lord

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Can just kissing on the lips passionately get a girl pregnant? Please help me. My girlfriend and I take great caution over ourselves so as to maintain control over our feelings, but it's the kissing we can't seem to avoid. I have never cared for anyone so much in my life and I really don't want something wrong to happen with us. I really love her. Please help me.

Sam (age 29)


I'm puzzled that you have reached the age of twenty-nine and haven't learned how babies are conceived. But I'll take you at your word. Children are conceived when sperm from a man, which is present in his semen, reaches an egg in a woman at the appropriate time. At your age I would like you to read the chapters on "The Male Reproductive System" and the "The Female Reproductive System" from the book Preparation for a Lifetime, which is to get couples ready for marriage. The chapters In Growing Up in the Lord: A Study for Teenage Boys, on "What is Sex?" and "Getting (too) Close" will also be useful to you.

In short, kissing alone will not get a girl pregnant, but there is a danger in becoming so passionately aroused that you go further than just kissing or that you get so sexually excited that you ejaculate. While the odds are highly against it, any semen that you release that reaches a woman's vagina could get her pregnant in theory. It doesn't matter if it was placed directly there from your penis or indirectly.

Paul warned, "But I say to the unmarried and to the widows: It is good for them if they remain even as I am; but if they cannot exercise self-control, let them marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion" (I Corinthians 7:8-9). If you truly love this woman, then you should be planning to marry her before your passion leads you to sin. But you need to think about who you want to marry with your head and not with your genitals. Men don't think clearly when they are passionately aroused. Think about whether this is truly the person you want to spend the rest of your life with. See "Who Are You Going to Marry?" for more details.