Hello. I would first like to express my gratitude for your web site. I discovered it when studying the origins of the Bible and researching online. You are a good person and I haven't a doubt in my mind that you will be rewarded for your deeds, in this life and the next.
I read your readings about masturbation. I'm a young man, 19, and I struggle with intense urges. I can go for a period of time without masturbating, but there are times when I am literally in physical pain when I don't masturbate. Maintaining an erection causes discomfort and embarrassment and there are times that I can feel the pain of semen build up. I would compare the pain to having to use the rest room and not being near one to do so. I thought all masturbation was sin period, but you have led me to think that isn't so. There are times, well most of the time, I'm able to ejaculate without using pornography. I know God ordains marriage so that we can satisfy these urges, but I have no desire to marry right now and I feel that I don't need an earthly companion to complete my happiness because I find all of my happiness through Christ and imitating Him to the best I can.
I used to consider masturbation my ''big sin'' because it was the only one I knowingly committed over and over again, but it now seems that the usage of pornography was my and is my ''big sin.'' I'm not going to ask you if it's right or wrong, sin or not, because you have concluded that you cannot conclude whether or not the act itself is sinful. I just feel like I should share this with you. I know that if I am going through this then there are other young men going through a similar if the same thing I am. I would however like your thoughts on this.
I'm glad the web site is beneficial to you and I hope you continue to write.
Pain with semen build-up is an unusual description. Most men describe it as a distraction because the build-up increases their sexual desires, and especially early on, tends to dominate their thoughts. Now pain does occur when erections are held too long, but that is because not enough oxygen is getting to the penis. And it is true that as the seminal vesicles fill, it is easier to get erections, sometimes one right after the other.
If you are having pain, and it isn't directly connected to having long periods of erections (30 minutes or more at a time), you probably ought to mention it to your doctor. It is possible to have an infection in your seminal vesicles.
My only other concern is that you mentioned using pornography sometimes. It would be better to commit to never using it again. Pornography is sinful and dangerous. See "A Look at Pornography" for more details.