The Boys' Growing Up in the Lord

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Question

Hello. I have not masturbated in about three months now. But now the urge is as strong as ever. In school and in the school bus, I put my hand down my pants and started to pull and push my penis. On the bus, I felt something about to come up (I don't know if it was sperm or what). But does that count as masturbation? Did I ruin my reputation of not masturbating?

Answer

The urge you feel is a result of semen building up in your seminal vesicles. It is like saying, "I haven't used the restroom all day, so why do I still feel like I need to go?" The urge for sex will be with you the rest of your life. Eventually (as in many years) you will get used to that feeling being there. Right now it is new and bothersome.

As the semen increases, your body will periodically get rid of the excess through wet dreams (nocturnal emissions). After an ejaculation the sexual urge will decrease for a time and then begin building up once again.

So what I am saying is that a lack of masturbation isn't going to effect your sexual urges.

Masturbating is defined as stimulating your own genitals, so yes, pushing and pulling on your penis is technically masturbating. While ejaculation usually accompanies masturbation, you don't have to ejaculate to be masturbating.

Buses can be a problem since the vibration of the vehicle can cause your penis to rub against your own clothing and the vibrations can trigger stimulate the prostate. Add to that being sleepy because of the ride and you could end up erect and have pre-ejaculate fluid flowing.

Okay. But you said that the urge for sex will be with me for the rest of my life. Last week I had the greatest urge, but since then I asked Jesus to take over the problem. And now I don't have the sexual urges anymore.

You might not be paying attention to them, but it doesn't mean that they aren't there. It is good that you are learning to ignore them and not let the urges dominate your thoughts, but don't deceive yourself into thinking that it won't remain an "issue." What you are claiming is equivalent to saying you prayed and you no longer get hungry. That is not how God designed the human body.

It almost appears that you think that having a sexual desire is wrong, in and of itself. Acting on the desire in an unholy way is wrong, but the desire itself is neither right nor wrong. I can get thirsty. It isn't wrong to be thirsty. But it would be wrong to get drunk because I was thirsty. I can get hungry. It isn't wrong to be hungry. But it would be wrong to overeat because I was hungry.

Your desire for sex exists to stir you to want to get married and have children. God put it there to encourage people to "Be fruitful and multiply" (Genesis 1:28).

My concern is that you are battling the wrong thing. Instead of battling sin and temptation you are battling yourself. Something might give and then you will blame yourself or God for something that is perfectly normal.