The Boys' Growing Up in the Lord

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Hello and good day. I sat and read this very interesting article about sex and other things. I am worried. I pray to God, ask Him for forgiveness, and talk to him whenever I can. I am very worried because I did something with my girlfriend. We have been together for almost a whole year. We keep telling ourselves that we will get married one day. My question is not Bible related, but I would like to get a answer from someone more knowledgable. Can I get my beloved girlfriend pregnant if my semen soaked through my underwear, my pants, her jeans and underwear and it went on her leg? Please help me. You seem to be very educated. Please pray for me. Ask the Lord to save me and her from having a child at this young age. Please e-mail me back. I'm waiting. Please help me. I don't want her to get pregnant just yet. I will be telling her tonight that we won't do anything so "big" again. Please e-mail me back. Thank you for your consideration. Please e-mail me back.


It is going to be a bit difficult to answer because you didn't say what you did. You leave me having to guess.

I would assume that you two were involved in some heavy sexual touching. Because of this you produced a lot of pre-ejaculate fluid (pre-nut in slang) that soaked both your pants and hers. Though you said "semen," I'm assuming that you didn't actually ejaculate in your pants, thought that is, of course, possible. You'll have to let me know if I missed my guess.

What probably also happened is that a woman also produces fluids in preparation for sex, so what probably soaked your clothing wasn't just your fluid, but hers as well.

Pre-ejaculate fluid can contain sperm and clothing is not a barrier to sperm. The holes in the weave of cloth is too big. However, sperm don't survive long when exposed to air. But since you managed to soak both yourself and her, there is a possible pathway for the sperm to swim. Since you were groin to groin, the possibility exists that one or more sperm cells might have made the journey.

The odds are highly unlikely that she would become pregnant. It isn't zero, but it is close to a zero chance of it happening. The reason is that pre-ejaculate fluid doesn't contain many sperm cells, the delivery wasn't ideal, nor was it as close as intercourse would make it. The chances are that any sperm cells present would not survive the journey.

But let's get back to a more important issue and that is your faithfulness to God. Since you are not yet married, why are you tempting yourself to commit fornication? I'm sure more than a few times you were thinking about pulling off your pants and going all the way in. Such thoughts will eventually lead you to actually matching action to thought. "Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived. Neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor homosexuals, nor sodomites, nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners will inherit the kingdom of God" (I Corinthians 6:9-10). But you were also involved in sexual passion, which is also sinful when you are not married. "For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you should abstain from sexual immorality; that each of you should know how to possess his own vessel in sanctification and honor, not in passion of lust, like the Gentiles who do not know God" (I Thessalonians 4:3-5).

Your girlfriend is not there to arouse yourself on her body. Such is disrespectful since you are not yet committed to her in marriage. If you are having difficulty restraining yourself, then get married. "Now concerning the things of which you wrote to me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman. Nevertheless, because of sexual immorality, let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband. ... but if they cannot exercise self-control, let them marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion" (I Corinthians 7:1-2, 9). If you aren't intending to marry this woman, you definitely should not be treating her in this fashion.

Hey, it's me again. I am only 15 and my girlfriend is 14. I always told her that we would get married one day when we're older. The line in Corinthians I ran into before because the same day I did what I did with her, I was scared so I went to the Bible for help. I love God and I believe in Him. I am not tempted to have sex with her because I know it's wrong. When I read, your note I learned a lot. It was very educational.

OK, here is what I did. She and I were in my room. We were playing and having a great time. My door was open and my parents were in the front room. Soon I found myself on top her with all my clothes on and she had all hers. I was on top of her just "moving" a little. Then I reached "the point of no return" and so did she. Then I got off her. It was just a circle of about 3 cm wide of ejaculation fluids on her pants, not right between her legs, on her right leg below her groin area. Everything was in my underwear. We were both dressed fully because we weren't intending on going any further until marriage.

Can you please reply to me? Thank you so so much for replying.

I've talked to God about it, too, and I felt good about it just yesterday. I regret it, and I know it's wrong. I won't let the devil tempt me again. I love this girl very much. We have been together almost a year now and we are very strong. :-) We talk out all our problems, forgive and then move on.

Thank you for replying, sir. Thank you so much. please reply to me again. THANK YOU :-)

I'm glad you realize that what you to did was wrong. Going back to your original question, since you did ejaculate, there would have been quite a few sperm in the liquid staining your pants. The average guy has about a half-billion sperm cells in each ejaculation. The question is whether any could reach her vagina. Since you said your fluids weren't over her groin, there would not have been a pathway for the sperm to swim.

Now, let's talk a bit more about your responsibilities as a young man. I notice that you talked about your commitment not to have sex before marriage. I congratulate you because I'm finding that rarer these days. But notice what happened despite your intentions. Sex is a powerful compulsion in the human body and much of sex can be done by instinct (without conscious thought). That is why you ground your groin against her leg in way a guy would do when engaged in actual intercourse. You were so caught up in the pleasure of the moment that you didn't realize what you were doing until you had ejaculated. The reality is that the judgment centers of your brain shut down when you are sexually aroused. It is far too easy to go too far and then wonder what happened because it wasn't your intention.

Solomon asked, "Can a man take fire to his bosom, and his clothes not be burned? Can one walk on hot coals, and his feet not be seared? So is he who goes in to his neighbor's wife; whoever touches her shall not be innocent" (Proverbs 6:27-29). A guy who commits adultery can't claim it was an "accident" because certain behaviors will lead to certain consequences. You can't claim that because you weren't intending to be burned, that touching a hot coal shouldn't have hurt you. Hot coals burn because that is what they do. A guy can't claim that he wasn't intending to have sex when he touches a woman sexually. Your body is designed to have sex. Sexual touch (foreplay) is what prepares the body for ejaculation. Your choice whether to have sex doesn't come when you decide whether to put your penis in or not -- you won't be thinking much about it at the time anyway. It doesn't come when you decide to drop your pants, or when you pull off your shirt. The real choice comes when you allow yourself to touch a girl sexually.

When you were children you could wrestle and cut up with other people. Someone could sit on your lap and you would never think much except, "Hey! You're too heavy!" But you are not a little kid anymore. Your body responds to many touches in sexual ways, especially with someone you like. As fun as it may be, you can't wrestle girls any more because your body is going to respond. You can't lay on top of a girl or a girl on top of you because it is too much like a sexual position and your instincts will take over. You can't have a girl sit on your lap because your body is going to respond. And the one responsible for your body is you. Pay attention to your body. If you are getting erect or you start to drip pre-cum, back off.

Treat your girlfriend with respect; she deserves it, especially if she becomes your future wife. She isn't a guy you can fool around with because you can't help but think about her in terms of sex. You have to keep yourself under control and that is going to take effort. -- more effort than you even realize today, despite your close call. As you get familiar with each other and comfortable around each other, it is very easy to let your guard down. It is easy to convince yourself that nothing happened last time, so nothing will happen this time either. Satan wants you not being careful. "Therefore let him who thinks he stands take heed lest he fall" (I Corinthians 10:12). Worse, as time continues, you start having thoughts, such as "Well, we're going to get married anyway" to justify treating your girlfriend in ways you would not treat another woman. Don't fall for the trap. Sex outside of marriage is wrong regardless of your intentions.

I noticed that even touching a girl sexually was a wrong when I was reading your article. I have already changed my thoughts toward her. I went out with her recently with my mom and we played and had fun. I have no intents of doing anything that we aren't suppose to do. Not because my mom was there but because of your e-mail and what I have learned. I am very thankful for what I have learned from you, sir. GOD BLESS YOU.

I want to be married to my girlfriend for the rest of my life when we are over 18. I wish we could get married now. Just yesterday she said that she wished we were married. :-)

I understand the eagerness on both your parts. Waiting will be hard, but it will also be good for your character. "My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing" (James 1:2-4). An athlete develops by going through the hardships of training to perfect his technique. In the same way, your character must develop by doing things which seem hard at the time.

Think of it this way, after marriage you're going to end up with lots of little ones and you'll need a LOT of patience to deal with them. This is your training time, so don't short change yourself by rushing things.