The Boys' Growing Up in the Lord

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Question

Hi I'm 17 years old, going on 18, I would assume I have pretty much reached the end stage of my adolescence. I've grown rapidly in the last two years. I have hair growing from all parts of my body, pubic and underarm being very dense. My legs have quite a vast amount as well. My facial hair is also coming on stronger than before; I have to shave about every 2-3 days as it bothers me. I couldn't grow a full beard if I wanted to though, it would look scraggly. The hair on my chest has also just started to grow over a year ago. My father has his whole chest covered with hair. He has a lot of facial hair as well, if he didn't shave it. My body is generally quite "chunky." I have a strongly developed chest, and my arms are quite powerful. I'm not fat though. My voice is deep. At some points it still reaches a high pitch though; for example, laughter brings out the high pitches of my voice.

My concern lies with my penis. For about two years it has not grown very noticeably. It measures 5 inch in length and girth erect. It looks thin and undeveloped. I just want my penis to be suitable to my body. My father's sure is; shouldn't mine be too? The length isn't my biggest concern; it's more the girth. At my age others have reached their final stages. I haven't found someone my age smaller than me.

Generally this makes me unconfident when having sex. All around I would be rated as very attractive, but I'm ashamed to pull down my pants. Any help or tips would be appreciated. Also I'm masturbating around five times a day. I moved and my fiance is far away from me. M my hormones are wild, I would say. Please help. I'm quite worried as I'll be 18 soon!


Answer

It is because you are muscular that you perceive your penis to be smaller than you think it should be. I suspect that your father is not as large as you are, so his penis appears to be proportionally bigger. Your size is perfectly within the range of normal for an adult male. Comparing yourself to other guys is not sensible. It is like comparing shoe sizes to determine who is the better runner. Every guy is different. I know guys think having a penis the size of a horse's is somehow better, but size has absolutely nothing to do with sexual performance.

Hair growth, both body and facial continues into a man's twenties, so you are right on track.

But you mention that you are already having sex. Why are you trying to become a father at 17? You should be ashamed about pulling  down your pants, not because of your looks but because you are sinning. "Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived. Neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor homosexuals, nor sodomites, nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners will inherit the kingdom of God" (I Corinthians 6:9-10). See Waiting for the Proper Time, Why Sex Outside of Marriage is Wrong and Marriage's Glue.

Masturbating that often tells me that you're involved in pornography, which also is sinful and damaging your relationship to your future wife. See A Look at Pornography as to why. You've become obsessed with sex, which is not good for you because you are not thinking clearly. By constantly keeping yourself aroused, you speed up your body's production of semen, which makes you more easily aroused -- leaving you in a vicious cycle where you feel nutty all the time.

If you will accept some advice, I want you to get rid of your pornography and stop looking at it on the Internet. While I want you to stop sinning, for the moment my challenge to you is to go without it for just one month to see how your attitude changes. Along with that, I want you to pick just one time per day to masturbate. When you realize that you are no longer going nuts between times, I want you to try going one day per week without masturbating, and then two days per week. If when you try to masturbate without pornography you find that it just doesn't work, then you know you are doing it too often. Wait another day or two to try again. Eventually I would like you to get to only masturbating every two or three days. What you will find is that you'll start feeling more in control of yourself and when you do masturbate it will feel more intense and satisfying. I also suspect that you'll find your erections to be greater because you aren't wearing yourself out.