The Boys' Growing Up in the Lord

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Hey! I'm a worried 16 year old boy. I had unprotected sex last weekend. My girlfriend has no STD's, we are sure about that. I didn't have it either because I've never had sex with a girl before. The last time we had sex, we did it in the shower.

So the thing is: Now I got red spots on my penis head and some sort of blister in the urethral opening. It'd be weird if I've received an STD. When she's had sex one time before it was with another virgin guy several months ago.


You are describing having an infection of some sort, so regardless of how it came to be, you need to see a doctor about it immediately. I know it is embarrassing, but there are too many serious diseases out there to try and ignore this. You can see your regular family doctor, go to an urgent care facility, or most places have public health clinics just for sexually transmitted diseases. As tough as it is going to be, you need to tell the doctor that you had unprotected sex recently so that the proper possibilities are considered.

Now, let's address the physical facts:

  • Just because your girlfriend claims not to have an STD, it doesn't make it true. People do lie and you would not be the first to be lied to by a girl who is interested in claiming a guy's body.
  • Some diseases don't give obvious symptoms in all people. That is what makes STD's so dangerous. People spread them without even knowing they have a disease. It is possible that your girlfriend picked up a disease and doesn't realize she has it. This is another reason why you need to quickly find out what you have, so that she knows what she needs to be treated for.
  • While she believes she has had sex with a virgin, she could have been lied to by the other boy. How would she know if he was telling the truth?
  • Diseases can be spread in other ways than just vaginal intercourse. Have you been engaged in other sexual acts, such as oral sex, recently? And if so, with how many?
  • Having sex in a shower doesn't keep diseases from being spread. In some ways, the moist environment makes it easier for diseases to be transferred from one person to another.
  • For that matter, you might not have a sexually transmitted disease, but a disease that was transmitted while having sex. For example, you might have a severe case of a yeast infection that you picked up from her. Yeast infections are common in women.

Finally, it's long past time that you and I have a talk about your moral behavior. I know that sexual sins are fun, but they are still sins. "Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived. Neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor homosexuals, nor sodomites, nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners will inherit the kingdom of God" (I Corinthians 6:9-10). There are good reasons why God said sex should only come after a man and woman have committed themselves exclusively to each other in marriage. You discovered one reason the hard way and that is arbitrary sex leads to the spread of diseases. "Whoever commits adultery with a woman lacks understanding; he who does so destroys his own soul. Wounds and dishonor he will get, and his reproach will not be wiped away" (Proverbs 6:32-33). Another thing you are ignoring is that every act of sex has the potential of conceiving a child. She might be on birth control pills, but that only means the odds drop down to 2%, if she was taking the pills correctly. While the odds might seem low, they shouldn't be ignored. Every time you ejaculate in or by a woman, there is a chance that you will father a child -- a child that you will be responsible for the next 18 to 23 years (yes, longer than you've lived so far). Your sperm don't know your intentions. They only know how to fertilize an egg.

So why are you trying to mess up your life for a few minutes of fun?

I know I'm being hard on you. But you are putting your life and your eternal life in danger, and I'm concerned about you. Would you let me know what you find out from the doctor? And I would like to talk with you further about why you are putting yourself in danger, if you are willing to talk to me.

Hello. I think it's getting better. The red spots are slowly fading away, and so is the blister. I can't feel anything that is bothersome. It does not hurt at all. She does not have an STD. I know her last boyfriend. I'm really sure about that. But thank you so much! I think I'll go to the doctor in the coming week. Right now I'm on a trip.

While having sex the condom may "explode," (get's ripped up). My girlfriend says: "Ah, it doesnt matter! Just forget about the condom." And so we go on. As I said, we've had unprotected sex before. Nothing happened. So it must be some kind of rash. But I'll check it out! It's the smart thing to do. I am not thinking about putting my life in danger at all.

I'm glad you will see a doctor because many diseases will visually fade but still remain in your system. Yes, it could be nothing, such as irritation from soap, but since it could much more likely to be something serious, it is best to get it checked out.

What really saddens me is that you don't seem to care about being right with God. It is because you are committing fornication in defiance of God's laws that I said you are putting your eternal life in jeopardy. I pray that you'll get serious about being a Christian soon.

People think illogically in many ways. One is to assume that because something didn't happen in the past that it means it won't happen in the future. Just because you haven't gotten your girlfriend pregnant yet doesn't mean you won't. It is a matter of chance.

I was wondering: If she doesn't have herpes, is there a chance for me to have it? Or would that be weird? I've never had sex before and she doesn't have it.

You can only catch diseases that another person has. If someone doesn't have a particular disease, you cannot catch it from them. Some diseases, like yeast infections, are in the environment and can be picked up at any time. Most, like herpes, has to be caught from someone who already has the disease. If you do find out that you have one of these diseases that are only transferred from person to person, then you know someone is not telling you the truth.