The Boys' Growing Up in the Lord

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Question

I have some more questions. I masturbated again after two weeks, which I guess isn't really bad, but I'd still prefer wet dreams. Earlier you mentioned that I could encourage a wet dream by sleeping in the nude, but this isn't a good idea for me as my dad usually wakes me up in the morning and I sometimes have to share a room with my brother. Is there any other way that I could encourage a wet dream?

Also, usually when I masturbate my mind still tries to put in lustful thoughts, but they are pretty easy to quickly clear out of my mind. Does this mean that I don't have to masturbate?

Again, thank you for all of your answers to my questions. I never used pornography to masturbate but over the summer when I started to get sexual urges, but I used sexual fantasy and lustful thoughts, which is just as bad. After I truly realized what I was doing I stopped, but I still had a strong urge for sex, and I thought I had become some sort of sex addict. Even after I quit masturbating for over three months, I felt quite miserable after my first few wet dreams and thought that I was becoming more addicted because I ejaculated in my sleep. Then I found your book online and read most of it as well as a lot of the questions. It helped me to realize that I was just a normal male and even though sometimes I tend to worry about puberty, I'm glad I stopped using lust a long time ago.


Answer

Another way is after you are in bed and under the covers is to slip your shorts or whatever you wear down. You just have to remember to pull them back up before you crawl out of bed.

Actually the fact that you can masturbate and keep your mind off of lustful thoughts means you have good self-control. It is usually when you don't really need to ejaculate that you try turning up the excitement with your thoughts to make ejaculation more likely. That you can reach orgasm without lustful thoughts means your seminal vesicles were pretty full.

Having a strong urge for sex is a part of being a teenager. That is why good parents put all sorts of restrictions on their teenagers. They remember what it was like and understand that it can easily get out of control. You aren't a sex addict, you are normal. It is just that normal is hard to manage when it is all new.

Thank you for telling me how the book and answers helped. It means a lot to me.

I have yet another question. Recently, I had another wet dream and realized that I did feel about the same relief as masturbation, so I don't really mind that much if I masturbate instead of having a wet dream. I'm now usually ejaculating about once a week, and I have noticed my sex drive has gotten higher. Is this normal? Also, is there any way I can lower my sex drive?

It may be hard to believe, but you probably haven't hit the peak of your sex drive yet. That usually comes in your late teens or early twenties. Your desire for sex is a side-effect of the testosterone that is changing you from a boy into a man. Testosterone levels peak in a guy's late teens or early twenties. It stays basically the same most of your adult life, gradually dropping as you get older.

The typical teenage boy needs to ejaculate about twice a week, though it varies widely between men. So if ejaculating once a week isn't keeping the edge off your sexual desire, try ejaculating a little more often, say once every five days or so. What you are going to find is that your need to ejaculate will vary from week to week. In some weeks you'll need it more often and others less. Just pay attention to when the sexual desire starts getting strong and then ejaculate to bring it back down.