The Boys' Growing Up in the Lord

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Question

Hi, I've read over a good bit (if not all) of the topics posted here and I wanted an answer for this.

I have seen a comic about a cartoon character taking a shower with his teenage son and showing him how to jack off.

I got hard (erect) from reading this, and I'm trying to force myself to stop. Like you have said before, when you're a teen, your brain is being programmed about what "sex" is. So I'm trying to force my brain to not get erect when seeing a guy's penis. I don't really see other people penises, so I can't really program myself not to get hard then by this comic. I've seen my cousin's penis but only because he wanted me to dry him off (he was like 7 years old). And I didn't get hard about seeing his, so I don't know.

So with that said here are the questions

  1. Was looking at this comic wrong?
  2. Is taking a shower with your dad around ages 10-14 wrong?
  3. Is it wrong to "jack off" with your dad if he is comfortable with it?
  4. Would comparing your penis with your father's penis be wrong?
  5. Would it be wrong to compare just the penis with a friend or cousin? Not showing your testes, just the penis.
  6. Would briefs be wrong to wear in front of my cousin or a friend?

Thanks for answering.


Answer

What you were looking at is a form of pornography. Pornography is defined as "Material that deals with sex in a rude or offensive manner. Material designed to shock the viewer in how sex is depicted. Material that is sexually explicit and intended to arouse sexual passion." By nature when teenagers begin to mature they naturally get self-conscious, thus the idea of a parent seeing a teenage boy who just started getting erections and showering with them is shocking. Under the guise of "teaching" it is a promotion of incestuous homosexual sex (two sins at the same time).

Pornography aims to shock because this increases your blood pressure and because it is a sexual theme, it causes you to have a strong erection. The pleasure that results encourages the person to seek it out repeatedly. But pornography is wrong because it encourages lustful thinking about sinful actions. "For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you should abstain from sexual immorality; that each of you should know how to possess his own vessel in sanctification and honor, not in passion of lust, like the Gentiles who do not know God" (I Thessalonians 4:3-5).

The general rule since the fall of man is that a person doesn't expose their genitals to others. We make efforts to keep our privates private. Of course there will always be times when it can't be avoided, yet we should make efforts to minimize it. Being seen naked in front of others ought to trigger a sense of shame. "Your nakedness shall be uncovered, yes, your shame will be seen" (Isaiah 47:3). There generally isn't a reason that an older child cannot bathe himself on his own.

Right and wrong is not gauged by whether the participants are comfortable with the action. "My son, if sinners entice you, do not consent. If they say, "Come with us, let us lie in wait to shed blood; let us lurk secretly for the innocent without cause; let us swallow them alive like Sheol, and whole, like those who go down to the Pit; we shall find all kinds of precious possessions, we shall fill our houses with spoil; cast in your lot among us, let us all have one purse"" (Proverbs 1:10-14). These people were comfortable robbing others by violence, but that did not make it right.

A man engaged in sexual acts with another man is homosexuality. That is a sin. The fact that it involved family members compounds the sin, not excuse it. "None of you shall approach anyone who is near of kin to him, to uncover his nakedness: I am the LORD" (Leviticus 18:6). By this, God isn't talking about a chance glimpse of someone in your family without clothing. He is talking about trying to look at someone for sexual purposes. That is what this cartoon depicted and why it is wrong.

While I understand the curiosity regarding other men's penises, comparing penises isn't something that is proper to do. Our private areas are to be private. You need to start being respectful of other people's privacy. Partial exposure doesn't make this less of a problem.

If you are sharing a room with another male, there are going to be times when you see each other naked or in underwear. It isn't that you pursue such hanging around in too little clothing. Understand that as a teen you frequently have erections and they are plagued by the same thing. Underwear doesn't hide erections well.

You seem to be going about this all the wrong way. You don't expose yourself to naked guys doing homosexual acts to teach yourself to not be affected by it. You avoid all references to it. Your penis is going to get erect regardless. You learn to ignore it and it settles down.

Oh, ok. I understand what your saying. I needed Bible references and what you gave is just what I was looking for. Didn't know that all guys are going to get erect by just seeing another penis. That's new news to me, to be honest. I thought it was just me. Huh.

Thanks so much Mr. Jeffrey.

All guys go through periods where their penis seems to have a mind of its own. It even has a name, "spontaneous erections." Those fade over time. But typically anything sexual will trigger erections, whether it is male or female, especially when the whole idea of sex is new. These too fade over time as your body learns to focus its sexual desire on one particular person -- your wife.

"No temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to man; but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it" (I Corinthians 10:13).