The Boys' Growing Up in the Lord

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Question

How long does it take to quit masturbating? I also am afraid to tell anybody that I masturbate, and am scared, but I know it is right. How could I tell?


Answer

You have some misconceptions that I think "How do I stop masturbating?" will help clear up.

In regards to talking about these types of things, most boys find it difficult because it is so personal and it involves sexual feelings, even though all men have masturbated. But in this regard, you've started talking to me and I'm willing to listen.

What do you mean by "misconceptions."

Well, I started masturbating when I was a kid. it was as if by instinct, I could be watching SpongeBob and I would do it. I didn't know what it was until I was thirteen. I had every intention of stopping. but it is tough. I realize that quitting will take my family, friends, and God. It is not something I can do alone. But asking for forgiveness will be hard. And I'm afraid people won't think I'm capable of good.

"Misconception" because you are assuming that ejaculating semen, or at least causing yourself to ejaculate semen is a sin. God says that sin is breaking His law (I John 3:4), so what law have you broken?

Your concern is a common one. We assume that because something is intensely pleasurable, then it must be a sin. Yet we forget that cold drink of water on a hot day can be intensely pleasurable. We never stop to think if it is a sin or not. Pleasure by itself doesn't define whether something is wrong or not.

Now a lot of sin hides behind pleasure. We get distracted by the pleasure and never notice that to gain the pleasure we are committing a sin. Satan does use masturbation to get people to sin. Young men want the pleasure of ejaculating so much that they will look at pornography or think lustful thoughts to get themselves sexually excited so that they can reach orgasm. It is the pornography and the lustful thoughts which are the sin. There isn't a verse in God's word that says stimulating yourself to ejaculate is sinful.

The reason I'm pointing this out is that I get notes from many guys who mistakenly decide that ejaculating is sinful, so they try to not ejaculate. The problem is that your body is constantly producing semen and eventually it has to come out. The urge to masturbate rises until either the guy gives in or it comes out on its own. Then the guy gets angry at himself for not being able to stop himself, and he starts over. Eventually he gives up and decides he is worthless because he can't stop "sinning." Yet, it never enters his mind that he is calling a normal function of the male body a sin. But Satan doesn't care because the guy as given up trying to follow the Lord.

If pornography is a problem, then, yes, you are likely going to need help getting pornography out of your life. Pornography is a sin (I Thessalonians 4:3-5). You need to call the sinful things sinful and focus your efforts on overcoming them.