The Boys' Growing Up in the Lord

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Question

Hello,

I'm having a big problem. She clearly says that I have jealousy problems and anger issues. By the way, we just broke up. She's going through a lot with her family and friends. She and I are always arguing or fighting for stupid reasons. So I took a load of weight off her shoulders by breaking up with her because she asked me what do you think will be best for us because we were just fighting for I don't know what. There's this other guy that she met two summers ago before she met me and they're talking again. I guess she thought the guy was ignoring her but I guess not. We've been together for about half a year. Right now I don't know what to do. She asked me what's best. Whatever it is, she'll understand. So I said we break up and she just started to curse at me and saying stuff. She told me to forget that we even met. When I went to try to talk to her two hours later, she acted like she doesn't know me anymore. I really love her, but I don't know if I did the right thing. I did it for God. What should I do? She won't even talk to me. Was it right what I did? Please tell me. I'm hurt.


Answer

You said you did it for God, but you never mention why staying with her would be against God. It looks like a lot of things are going through your head at one time, so it got a bit jumbled on the way out. So let me gives some general answers for now.

It sounds to me that the reason you told her you would break up is because you were tired of fighting with her. It also sounds as if that you thought she would change her mind, but she didn't. This is something you need to learn. Guys tend to be more direct. Two boys can fight on the playground and then be best of buddies as they walk off. The reason is that guys take care of problems and once they are "solved," they dismiss them. Girls don't think that way. Two girls can fight and not talk to each other for the next five years.

My guess is that this girl was trying to get you jealous with another boy. She was hoping you would fight for her or fight over her, which she wanted to make her feel important. She didn't get what she wanted, and she got mad because from her view dumping her means you don't see her as valuable. In other words, she saw it as a personal insult.

Most early relationships don't last because the people involved are more focused on themselves and their feelings than on the other person. The fact that you two were fighting constantly was not a good sign of a stable relationship.