The Boys' Growing Up in the Lord

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I am 26 years old and am worried that when I am just beside with my girlfriend, my penis is excited -- that means it rises. Even when I am just in front of her, why does my penis rise? Is that a problem? I can't walk with my girlfriend because my penis rises. When I am talking with my girlfriend over the phone, then my penis rises though we don't ever talk about sex. Why does it occur? Why does my penis rise even I am thinking about her, though I don't think about sex? When I just touch my girlfriend's hands then my penis rises. For that reason I can't walk freely in the park. Why does it occur? Is it a problem? How can I control my penis when I am kissing my girlfriend's lips?

I never had a sex with her or any one else.

Please answer me. I have a date with my girlfriend once a month and I don't want to have sex with my girlfriend before marriage.


Erections are caused by two things happening at the same time: your heart rate increases, which in turn raises your blood pressure, and a muscle down by the base of your penis clamps down on the vein that lets blood return from the penis back to the heart and lungs. The result is that the penis inflates like a balloon, only it is inflating with blood instead of air.

I assume you have not known your girlfriend long and the relationship is new and exciting. But exciting means your heart rate goes up. And being new, it means you are a bit nervous and tense. That tenseness will cause your body to tighten muscles, including the one at the base of your penis. To add to your trouble, as soon as you realize that your penis is inflating, you get embarrassed and even more nervous -- your heart rate goes up more and you get more tense, which just makes your erection firmer.

It isn't easy to control erections. Sometimes it seems that the penis has a mind of its own. But understanding why it happens, you can try to force yourself to relax more, and this will naturally happen as you get comfortable being around your girlfriend.

Yet, this approach will never be perfect, so plan on dealing with erections. One is not to wear loose fitting pants that stick out when your penis gets hard. It is one of the reasons blue jeans are popular among young people. Another trick is to wear a loose fitting shirt that will hide an erection underneath it. Sometimes you can make adjustments for which direction your erect penis is going so that it does stand out as much. You'll know it is there, but others won't necessarily notice.

Just because you get hungry, it doesn't mean you drop everything to eat right then. You practice self-control instead. In the same way, just because your penis gets erect, it doesn't mean you have to have sex. You control your body, not the other way around.

Keep in mind that being aroused feels good, but don't chase after pleasure. Stay committed to waiting until marriage and you'll respect yourself and find life wonderful.