The Boys' Growing Up in the Lord

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Question

I think what Is masturbation sinful or not? said sounded true, even though it was kind of frustrating. How or when does the guilt stop? Should I do it if I'm not completely doing in faith because of the guilt (since things are only for God or for Satan)? How often then should a person do it? Is once a day or every two days too much?


Answer

Feelings can beĀ  a warning, but they are not always accurate. "He who trusts in his own heart is a fool, But whoever walks wisely will be delivered" (Proverbs 28:26). You do things because you know (have faith) that they are right or acceptable before God. "Now by this we know that we know Him, if we keep His commandments. He who says, "I know Him," and does not keep His commandments, is a liar, and the truth is not in him. But whoever keeps His word, truly the love of God is perfected in him. By this we know that we are in Him. He who says he abides in Him ought himself also to walk just as He walked" (I John 2:3-6). That is why I start with what God has said on the matter and never about how people feel about a matter.

Guilt is not the opposite of faith. I can feel guilty over lying and have complete faith that lying is wrong. I can also feel guilty over a matter because I make a false assumption about whether I did something wrong. Paul at one time in his life fought against the church had had people thrown into prison, yet he also said that he lived in all good conscience (Acts 23:1). Paul did not suffer from guilt, but he still was wrong about what he believed.

The opposite of faith is doubt -- not guilt. If you aren't certain whether something is right because you haven't studied the matter, then you shouldn't be doing it until understand God's teaching on the matter.

Now one of the problems is that when your hormone levels suddenly drop because you had an ejaculation it create a feeling that is often interpreted as "guilt." See: Why do I feel guilty after ejaculating? Guilt is appropriate when you know you did something wrong. It is a feeling that occurs as a result of knowledge. But feelings are not supposed to be in the driver's seat. When you decide you are guilty solely because of a feeling, then something has gotten turned around.

In regards to how often, it depends on the guy and how fast your seminal vesicles are filling up. For an adolescent male, it can be daily or perhaps more for periods of time. By the time you reach your twenties it will be more steady. The average is about twice a week, but the normal range is quite large. As you get elderly, it starts to get longer between times. What I tell guys is pay attention to your sex drive. When the thoughts of sex get intrusive, take care of the matter, but don't feel like you have to ejaculate just because you are getting erections. You want to be in control of your body and not your body controlling you. "But I discipline my body and bring it into subjection, lest, when I have preached to others, I myself should become disqualified" (I Corinthians 9:27).