The Boys' Growing Up in the Lord

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Question

Well, I have tried in the past to stop masturbating, but when reading on your site it doesn't seem like it's a bad thing.  However, when I masturbated I would get thoughts of having sex with guys.  I'm not gay and I desire a relationship with a woman, but I constantly feel turned on when I look at guys with big muscles and ripped abs.  I have thoughts of blow jobs and stuff.  I confess that one time another guy and I gave each other blow jobs and other things, but that is in the past and I do not want to do that again.  However, the temptation keeps coming back. How do I handle this?  Also, when I masturbate I give myself anal penetration because it feels good.  I've heard that this isn't gay, but is it?


Answer

In the answers I've given regarding masturbation, I've pointed out that the act is neither right nor wrong, but it can be used wrongfully. The common misuse is to think about doing sinful acts while masturbating. The reason is that the more you think about sinning, the more likely you will sin in the future. "For from within, out of the heart of men, proceed evil thoughts, adulteries, fornications, murders, thefts, covetousness, wickedness, deceit, lewdness, an evil eye, blasphemy, pride, foolishness. All these evil things come from within and defile a man" (Mark 7:21-23). God is quite clear that homosexuality is a sin. "Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived. Neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor homosexuals, nor sodomites, nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners will inherit the kingdom of God" (I Corinthians 6:9-10). Therefore, if you want to stay away from homosexuality, you can't allow yourself to think about doing it.

Temptation will always be a problem. That is because Satan is always trying to find weak points in our defenses to get us to give into sin. That you've given into homosexuality once before just means Satan is going to keep prodding to see if he can get you to give in again. Fortunately, God is willing to give us help in this matter. "No temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to man; but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it" (I Corinthians 10:13). The solution to temptation is continued resistance. "Therefore submit to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you" (James 4:7).

What I suggest to young men in your situation is to hold off masturbating until the sexual desire gets too bothersome. When you are highly aroused simply because your seminal vesicles are full, it doesn't take much to trigger an ejaculation, which also means you have less time to dwell on things you should be avoiding. Habits, especially sexual habits, are hard to break, so understand that this will take time and conscience effort to overcome, but it is doable. A side benefit is that delaying helps you train your self-control over your body.

Anal penetration of any sort is dangerous. The rectum isn't designed to accommodate an object. The forced expansion of it can and usually does cause small tears. A moving object will increase the likelihood of additional damage. The rectum does not produce any natural lubricants to minimize damage. The organs next to the rectum, such as the prostate, are not designed to handle pushing and prodding, so they can be damaged as well. The bowels are notorious for harboring all sorts of disease causing bacteria. So causing damage in this area can allow germs to move into your bloodstream.

Yes, homosexuals get involved in anal sex since there are few places where a penis can go into on a male body. But anal sex isn't limited to homosexuals. Heterosexual couples have been known to use it to have sex with a lowered risk of pregnancy. But in this case, who uses it isn't as important to note as the fact that it is dangerous to do.