The Boys' Growing Up in the Lord

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I am a 21 year old guy. I am dating my pastor's daughter. They know about us. I told them last week to prevent rumors in the church. They made no comment, but now I hear that they told their child to forget about me and focus on her school work (she is in grade 12). If she doesn't want that, they will disown her because they cannot feed another man's wife and they won't allow her to futher her studies next year. I really love the girl, and I also love and respect my pastor. But now I do not know what to do. Please help me.


You didn't mention her age, but I assume she is about 17. As long as she is a minor living with her parents, she is required to follow their rules. They cannot disown her while she is a minor legally. She is not another man's wife -- you two are not married. I hope you are not hinting that you two have been having sex. Whether she continues her education is up to her. Whether her parents help pay for that education is up to them. When she is of legal age and the two of you want to marry, that will be your choice.

Thanks for your help. Concerning communication, I should just cut it? On the issue of intercourse, no we are not sexually active. I am willing to abstain until we get married.

Whether you end communication is something you'll have to decide. If you want to marry now, then you would have to find someone else. If you are willing to wait, then you need to remain in contact so the relationship can continue to strengthen.