The Boys' Growing Up in the Lord

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Question

Dear sir,

I am a 17 year old boy who acts like a girl. During my childhood days I liked to wear frocks and do things related to girls. My voice is also like a girl. All my friends says "You are a gay." My other friends have manly voices.

No girl will comfortably with me like they will while talking with other boys. I am not attracted toward girls. I have always been attracted to my male friends. Not only this, my male friends have girlfriends, but I love a friend who is a boy. What is this? I cannot understand what is happening in my life.

I never play manly games like football, volleyball, basketball, etc. Yes, it is true. But trust me, I tried hundreds of times to play these games, but my body and my image toward my friends won't allow me. At games period I never play just stand aside. I don't know how to play these games.

All my school friends look handsome in their school uniform. My mom says that when I walk I always think in my mind that I am falling down. I tried to use the Internet to improve my posture, but I can't.

I can't talk in groups of my friends. Some teachers are not comfortable with my behavior. I came to realize this several times when I raised my hand to answer a question. They don't call on me to answer. My friends always discuss my behavior with all the people, which make me nervous to face them.

I like muscles and masturbation also. I always see sex related things on TV. I have make a Facebook account, but I cannot send friend requests to my classmates as my body doesn't allow me. Actually I do not know who I am and why I am here in the world.

Please help me!


Answer

A common trait of children is to lump items into categories for easier classification. All birds fly ... until we run into penguins and ostriches. Horses are big ... until we run into toy ponies that are about the size of a dog. Children have a hard time wrapping their head around these apparent exceptions to the rules they made up in their minds.

But people do the same thing with other people. There are rules that people make in their minds for how boys must behave because most boys they run into behave in that manner. When they run into exceptions, they don't adjust their views to match the facts, they decide the person must not be a boy! But it isn't just other people who have these stubborn ideas, you have accepted them as well.

I was never good at team sports growing up. I later learned that was due to bad eyeglasses that messed up my depth preception. Another part was that I was overweight. Yet as an adult I found out I really enjoyed martial arts (I have a third degree black belt and was an instructor for a while). I love arts, I write, but I also hike. And, yes, I was teased relentlessly when I was growing up. But now that I'm an adult I look back and realize that the children in my life had no idea what made a successful adult male.

If I had you sitting in the room with me, I'm positive I would see a boy and not a girl. If we examined your DNA it would show that you are a male. You even write as a boy would write and you've told me that you are visually oriented when it comes to sexual things, which is a common male trait. Yes, you find muscular men attractive, but that is understandable since that is how you wished you look.

It appears to me that you are letting other people push you toward their categories; instead, I would encourage you to be yourself. You are a male. You are designed to have sex with a female. Yes, girls are hard to talk to at your age. Both boys and girls tend to think very shallow. They don't realize there are fascinating depths to every person. It won't stay that way. Somewhere along the way you are going to meet women who are interested in you as a person.

Unless you are dealing with a spinal problem, posture can be worked on. Muscles can be built. You can learn to converse with people.