The Boys' Growing Up in the Lord

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Question

Recently we stopped oral sex because that's bad, but I get naked in front of her, and sometime she does. We also have dry humped with our clothes on. Sir ,what can we do? I know I shouldn't say this, but I want to make love to her? Can you give me advice, please?

Thanks. 


Answer

"Now concerning the things of which you wrote to me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman" (I Corinthians 7:1).

By "touch", Paul is talking about sexually touching a woman. As you well know, once you start, it is hard to stop; thus, the simple rule is that you don't start what you are not allowed to finish.

I know that sex is popularly called "making love," but love and sex are two different things. Read I Corinthians 13:4-8. Here is the definition of love. Does that describe your relationship with your girlfriend completely? Notice there is not a single mention of sex in the entire description. That is because love isn't limited to sex. You can love your mother, or a sibling, and it will be completely non-sexual.

The problem is that now that sex has come into your relationship, it dominates it. It revolves around taking clothes off and stimulating each other. The result is that the real relationship, the one that will eventually join you to a woman for life in marriage stalls and frequently dies.

Not only are you involved in lewdness, you both fill you minds with lust. Lust is like an acid that wears down your resistance to sin. What will happen is over time you are going to "slip." You'll find yourselves engaging in intercourse with out initially intending to do so. You will think that it was an accident, but it is an "accident" that was purposely made to happen.

I have an interesting little book called "101 Ways to Make Love with Your Clothes On." It presents little things that a man or woman can do to tell the other person they love them. Things like cute names, leaving love notes to be found, holding the door, sending a thoughtful gift, etc. You don't have to use your girlfriend to ejaculate to have her know you love her. Actually all that says is that you use her for your own enjoyment. Love is about treating another person as special.

Regarding your own need to ejaculate, you take care of that privately by yourself until the day you get married.