The Boys' Growing Up in the Lord

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Question

Sometimes I get erections around guys, and I've started thinking guys are cute. I know it's wrong to act that way. I keep praying to God, asking if He can make me heterosexual, but it doesn't happen.


Answer

Homosexuality is having sex with someone of the same gender. The Bible is very specific that this is a sin. "For this reason God gave them up to vile passions. For even their women exchanged the natural use for what is against nature. Likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust for one another, men with men committing what is shameful, and receiving in themselves the penalty of their error which was due" (Romans 1:26-27).

Lust is a strong desire for something that is sinful. It is more than just a mere attraction, which could lead to a temptation to sin. Lust is wanting something so badly that you are willing to sin and in your mind you are telling yourself that it would be all right to sin -- at least in some cases. To lust after homosexuality, or any other sin, is also a sin, but lust is not the same sin as the actual act.

Temptation is when the idea occurs to you that you can get what you want, though a sin might be involved. But temptation is not lust. "But each one is tempted when he is drawn away by his own desires and enticed. Then, when desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, brings forth death" (James 1:14-15). James says the steps to spiritual death are:

  1. A desire for something
  2. A temptation, which is an offer to gain what is desired with the trap that you have to break a law of God to get it.
  3. Lust, which is an acceptance that breaking God's law is worth getting what you desire.
  4. Sin, which is the actual breaking of God's law.
  5. Licentiousness, which is sin full-grown. That is when a person gets to the point that he doesn't care what anyone thinks about his sins, he is going to do it anyway. He thinks he has a license to sin.
  6. Death. When a person stops caring there is no way to bring him back.

Let me illustrate it this way: Hunger is a desire -- it is neither right nor wrong. Temptation is when you are in the convenience store and see a candy bar, but realize you don't have enough money to pay for it. Lust is when you tell yourself that the store can afford to lose some items and that they are expecting some loss, or telling yourself that you could pocket it now and pay for it later and you accept that these are adequate justification to steal. Sin is when you walk out with the candy bar without paying for it. Licentiousness is when you think it is fun to take things off the shelf even though you have adequate money to pay for it. And from there it is a short step to spiritual death.

Now, a question for you. When does a guy become a thief? Is it when he gets hungry, when he is tempted to steal, when he wants to steal so badly that he lusts for it, or when he actually takes what doesn't belong to him? According to the Bible, it is when a person commits the act that he is guilty of that sin. Lust for a sin is also a sin, but it is a different type of sin.

In the same way, when is a guy a homosexual? When his penis gets erect, when he realizes it is possible to have sex with another guy, when he daydreams about having sex with another guy, or when he drops his pants to have sex with a guy? According to the Bible, homosexuality is the act of having sex with another guy.

The fact that your penis gets erect is just a fact of life for all males. Your body doesn't care, it only knows that sexual arousal and the things that follow it are fun. When you first get the ability to have an erection, everything, anything, and sometimes nothing at all will trigger an erection. That doesn't mean you have to do anything about it or that your body knows what it is doing. It is only signaling that it is ready for sex and in the early days that signal comes too often.

God did not make you a homosexual. He doesn't make anyone a homosexual. That is merely a myth people tell themselves to justify their sins. "Let no one say when he is tempted, "I am tempted by God"; for God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does He Himself tempt anyone" (James 1:13). You are being tempted to use the body God gave you in ways that God doesn't approve. Your job is to reject those temptations. "Therefore submit to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you" (James 4:7). You choose who you have sex with. No one but you can make you a homosexual.

Thank you very much. This web site has really helped me.