The Boys' Growing Up in the Lord

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Question

Well, first thing's first. I'm being teased and bullied for a number of things, although it's mainly that my voice cracks pretty frequently, even though I'm 16. I don't know why the people in my grade do it, although it's mainly people (one person really) that are a lower grade level than me. I am a junior. I'm usually good at keeping control of my emotions, except anger. I need help on that. But I usually don't feel anger when they make fun of me. It's shame or embarrassment that I feel. One time I was on a school trip and we had to call roll. Well, it came my turn to say "Here" and my voice cracked pretty badly and everyone around me started laughing, and then they made me cry.

The other thing I get made fun of is my penis size. I'm only around 4.25 when I'm erect. They don't know how small I am. They found out by a reaction I made to a joke, so every time someone makes a comment about penis size, they make a comment about how either "I'm small like x guy or object" or about "how I'll never be x inches" or the like.

Another thing that has been bothering me is that I feel as if I'm not as developed as other, even younger, guys. Like I said before, I'm 16 and, according to the Tanner stage calculator on your site, I'm a 3.6. Should my penis get bigger? I know I can satisfy a woman, but it still bothers me. There's the fact that sometimes it's hard for me to use a urinal because of my flaccid size.

So any advice on these questions? I've prayed about it, but I feel like God hasn't given me a answer.


Answer

It is the nature of teenagers to taunt others. It isn't right, but the teenage years are a time of major changes and so those changing cling to things that are the same. Teens are asserting their difference from their parents by dressing differently, but stand back and you'll notice that all the teenagers essentially dress the same. They want to be a part of the group. Because of this, most teenagers are really sensitive about any differences from other teenagers being pointed out. You aren't the only one facing this battle. "No temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to man ..." (I Corinthians 10:13). At the same time there are always the bullies in the crowd who will exploit any weakness they can find. "For scorners delight in their scorning" (Proverbs 1:22).

There isn't much you can do to stop this from happening. They are looking for any negative reaction to show that they got to the person they are targeting. So if you react or complain, it is like blood in the water and the sharks start circling. It is because this is about having power over another person.

Voice cracking is perfectly normal for every male. It means you are nearing or are in stage 4 of your development. It is a result of your vocal chords getting longer, giving you a deeper male voice. Those teasing you probably haven't gone through this yet. Not that it matters. It isn't so much that your voice cracked as your reaction when people laughed. The original laughter wasn't necessarily out of cruelty. People also laugh when someone trips -- especially when they realize they weren't hurt. It was unexpected and so it generated a laugh. But because you were embarrassed the sharks saw an opportunity to rub it in.

Penis size is only measured from an erect state. That is because the flaccid state changes dramatically depending on the temperature of your body and the environment. The normal range for adult males is anywhere from 3 to 8 inches with 6.5 inches being the average length. By the way, you can't tell what a guy's erect length is from his flaccid length. Someone long flaccid may only gain a inch or two erect, while someone short when flaccid may gain four or five inches when erect. Since you are still in stage 3, your penis is still growing in length. But notice that these people have no idea what size you are. They are teasing you because they know you get upset about it.

The average age to be in stage 3 is 13-14, so you are currently running about two years behind the average, though well within the normal range. Therefore, well over half the boys you know who are your age are further along than you are, but probably a third of the boys you know are not as far along as you are.

The best answer to all of this is not to let people opinions bother you. Even better is when you can turn things around a laugh at yourself. If you voice squeaks, make light of it: "Pardon me, but I seem to have a mouse stuck in my throat." The real reason these things hurt is because it wounds your pride, but pride is a dangerous thing to have, so cultivate humility. "When pride comes, then comes shame; But with the humble is wisdom" (Proverbs 11:2).

Thanks for the advice. I needed it. Also, thank you for the verses that you included in your response. I wanted to look for verses that would help me have strength to ignore or not react in a negative way, but I didn't know where to start. So, thanks, again, and God bless.