The Boys' Growing Up in the Lord

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Question

Is it normal through adolescence to be sexually attracted to men?


Answer

It is a common and  perfectly normal trait that children have. Most children find people they want to model themselves after. Boys tend to find men attractive and girls tend to find women attractive for this modeling.

Most boys go through a phase where they are more comfortable with other boys than with girls. They understand their own gender, but females are seen as odd and difficult to comprehend. Again, this is normal for all males. Actually, girls do the same thing. That is why you tend to see guys hanging around other guys and girls hanging around other girls. This even lasts into adulthood. Men date and find a woman to marry, but typically you will find the men have more male friends than female friends. They are more comfortable around other men because the expectations are known. With the opposite gender there is a danger of a sexual element that causes people to be cautious. It is normal because people crave friendship  because people are not designed to be isolated (Genesis 2:18).

What sometimes happens is that sexual awareness also rises about the same time and there is a period of time where some boys get their wires crossed in regards to desire. They confuse the desire for companionship and friends with a sexual desire for the same. Most of the time this gets straighten out after a period of time. Unfortunately we have a society bent on promoting homosexuality, so boys are being told that any attraction (sexual or not) to males means they are homosexual; such is a huge lie. It doesn't help that when sexual awareness is new, males find anything and everything triggering arousal and erections.

Have close friends among your own gender; that is normal, but remember that sexual feelings are to be reserved for your future wife. It might take a while for your body to learn that, but your body isn't in charge -- you are.