The Boys' Growing Up in the Lord

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Question

I saw your answer about a related topic when I was searching for answers. I am glad because you help me out a lot. God bless you. I hope you can help me out again.

My girlfriend and I have been dating for three years now. She's Catholic and I am Presbyterian. We used to have sex, but about a year ago I received Christ into my life. Before I did that I had told her I wanted to change and was ready to give up my old ways, and she promised to stand by me. I also started talking to her about Christ and she changed too.

Now I am about to finish college and I'll be able to see more of her. How can I remain faithful to God and to our vow not to have sex again until marriage?

When we are ready to get married, how will we explain to the pastor about our sexual history and the changes we have made?

I know they say a white dress on the wedding day is a sign of purity, so what's our way out? Does it mean she'll have to wear another color? Won't it shout to the world 'fornicators'?

Please help me out.


Answer

It is good to hear that you have decided to leave your sins behind. Since you understand that fornication is wrong, you need to stay away from the things that lead to fornication. "But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh, to fulfill its lusts" (Romans 13:14).

  • Don't talk sexual to each other since that stirs up lust. "But immorality or any impurity or greed must not even be named among you, as is proper among saints; and there must be no filthiness and silly talk, or coarse jesting, which are not fitting, but rather giving of thanks. For this you know with certainty, that no immoral or impure person or covetous man, who is an idolater, has an inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and God. Let no one deceive you with empty words, for because of these things the wrath of God comes upon the sons of disobedience. Therefore do not be partakers with them" (Ephesians 5:3-7).
  • Don't touch each other sexually. "Now concerning the things of which you wrote to me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman" (I Corinthians 7:1).
  • Don't expose the private areas of your bodies to each other.
  • Don't be alone with her where other people can't see you.

Basically treat her with honor and respect. Act as you would want some other boy to act when he is with her.

What people wear is based on traditions and not what God requires. Yes, the reason for a white dress in western countries is because white represents purity. Whether she will want to wear a white dress is up to her.

If the preacher asks you about your past, simply state the truth. "Yes, we committed fornication but we since have turned out lives over to Christ and have given up our sexual sins."