The Boys' Growing Up in the Lord

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Question

Good day sir,

I have a problem with my life. I am 18 years old. I entered into a relationship with a girl, but I have a problem with low self-esteem. I easily get depressed, but I managed to get a girlfriend whom I loved. However, I was not able to express myself to her because of my low self-esteem and the relationship did not last. I need your help and advice on how to come out of low self-esteem and depression. I want to be able to express myself and be the guy that people love to be with. I know not everybody will like me, but I want to be able to give my best.

I really need your reply, sir. Thank you so much.


Answer

"Self-Esteem" was a fad for many years. Every problem was blamed on a lack of self-esteem. The problem is that "self-esteem" is just another term for pride and the Scriptures teach us not to have pride because it leads to problems. "But He gives more grace. Therefore He says: "God resists the proud, But gives grace to the humble"" (James 4:6).

You should have confidence that stems from knowing where you stand before God. "In the fear of the LORD there is strong confidence, and his children will have refuge" (Proverbs 14:26).

The opposite of depression is optimism.

"As the deer pants for the water brooks, so my soul pants for You, O God. My soul thirsts for God, for the living God; when shall I come and appear before God? My tears have been my food day and night, while they say to me all day long, "Where is your God?"

These things I remember and I pour out my soul within me. For I used to go along with the throng and lead them in procession to the house of God, with the voice of joy and thanksgiving, a multitude keeping festival. Why are you in despair, O my soul? And why have you become disturbed within me? Hope in God, for I shall again praise Him for the help of His presence.

"O my God, my soul is in despair within me; therefore I remember You from the land of the Jordan and the peaks of Hermon, from Mount Mizar. Deep calls to deep at the sound of Your waterfalls; all Your breakers and Your waves have rolled over me.

The LORD will command His lovingkindness in the daytime; and His song will be with me in the night, a prayer to the God of my life. I will say to God my rock, "Why have You forgotten me? Why do I go mourning because of the oppression of the enemy?" As a shattering of my bones, my adversaries revile me, while they say to me all day long, "Where is your God?" Why are you in despair, O my soul? And why have you become disturbed within me? Hope in God, for I shall yet praise Him, the help of my countenance and my God" (Psalms 42:1-11).

With God there is no reason to be depressed. Things of this world are temporary, while God is eternal. Keep your hope in God.

It is hard to keep friends when you are constantly gloomy. People find someone who is rarely cheerful difficult to deal with and a drain on their own emotions. This doesn't mean there won't be times when things get rough and you are sad, but sadness should not be your normal state of mind.

Being able to express yourself comes with practice. It isn't always easy to find just the right words, but practice makes it easier. Start a journal to record your thoughts. At first it may be hard, but with a journal there is no pressure to complete a thought in a short period of time. Over time it will get easier and begin to spill over into your conversations.

Thank you, sir.