The Boys' Growing Up in the Lord

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Question

I wanted to let you know that your advice has helped me very much in the past, but a bigger problem came, which I am very ashamed of admitting. I received a friend request and message requests that also went to many of my friends. It's a guy who used a fake name. When he sent me a request, I noticed we had mutual friends, so I accepted. The problem was that when I asked if I knew him, he said "yes," but wouldn't answer my questions like "Where are you from?", "How do I know you?", etc. He immediately starting asking for me to send nudes. I refused.

Now here's the thing. I'm a compassionate person. Whenever someone has a problem, I will get a tug in my heart and help them. Since clearly he was using a fake account and name I started playing detective and asked him more questions to help. To make the story short, he keept on insisting with the nudes and avoiding my questions. The last time he said "send me a nude," I said "you first". I thought by doing this so he would be quiet and start cooperating. His nudes become more frequent, which then turned into a video chat. I fell again into porn, but only it was "live porn." I reported him and notified my friends to remove those requests he made. That is when they all told me that he was asking the same from them. Finally his account was deleted.

A couple of months later he made a new one and contacted me again. I thought I could help him and possibly get some answers but no. I become addicted to his nudes even more. When he asked me to send him some, I did and we ended up maturbaring together through video chat.

I want to be free! But he keeps on coming back with new accounts. When I report him, nothing happens. I'm scared to block him because what if he took screen shots and makes them go viral?

I'm also frustrated because he won't tell me who he is. I've heard his voice and saw his appearance. I'm sure it's a friend of mine, but he denies it.

Lastly, I'm scared to go to church. Because as believers, we know that God can "bring to the light" our sins and can reveal them to the pastor or other members. I'm scared of this happening. I'm scared of getting in trouble and being put to shame and Ive already been missing church service quite a bit lately.

Please help me!


Answer

"Brethren, even if anyone is caught in any trespass, you who are spiritual, restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness; each one looking to yourself, so that you too will not be tempted" (Galatians 6:1).

The problem is that you tried treating this person as if he was an honest Christian caught up in sin. "Do not enter the path of the wicked and do not proceed in the way of evil men.  Avoid it, do not pass by it; turn away from it and pass on.  For they cannot sleep unless they do evil; and they are robbed of sleep unless they make someone stumble" (Proverbs 4:14-16). Anyone contacting strangers and asking for nude photos is clearly immersed in evil. The only appropriate response is to immediately block the person and warn your friends.

One of the things I warn people is that anything you do on the Internet cannot be controlled. You can't stop what might happen, but you can pull the plug on this immediately so that nothing more can happen. Right now he is blackmailing you with fear. Therefore, block this person and don't accept friend requests unless you are certain you know who it is from.

Most likely nothing more will come of this, but if it does, then face it as a man. Admit that you were lured into sin, that you deeply regretted it and that you put a stop to it.