The Girls' Growing Up in the Lord

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My boyfriend and I have had sex on occasions. We have calmed down a bit because we know it is a sin to do so before marriage. But we slipped up about a week ago and gave in. He used a spermicidal-lubed condom and he pulled out in time before he finished. He was pressed up against my stomach and when he got up he noticed some sperm around the vaginal area. We checked for condom leaks but found none. It is possible that it may have leaked out of the sides, but it could also be my own. My period hopefully will come in about three weeks. Please tell me the chances of getting pregnant in this situation.

Michelle (age 19)


I can't express how disappointed I am with the attitudes expressed in your short note. You say you realize sex is a sin, so you are now not doing it as often as before. You speak of slipping up, but you had condoms on hand -- which indicates forethought. Your both concerned about not causing a pregnancy, but you are engaging in sex anyway. The two of you are trying to straddle the fence. You are trying to be in both worlds, the world of sin and the world of righteousness, at the same time, but it doesn't work that way. "Adulterers and adulteresses! Do you not know that friendship with the world is enmity with God? Whoever therefore wants to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God" (James 4:4).

You need to wake up to the fact that while you remain in your sin, you keep a barrier between you and God. "Behold, the LORD'S hand is not shortened, that it cannot save; nor His ear heavy, that it cannot hear. But your iniquities have separated you from your God; and your sins have hidden His face from you, so that He will not hear" (Isaiah 59:1-2). This is not fun and games; we are talking about your life, both in this world and, more importantly, in the next to come.

In an attempt to sin and not get caught your boyfriend tried to use two methods of contraception. While this decreases the odds of not causing a pregnancy, it can never reduce it to zero. Too many things can go wrong and you experienced just one of them. Most likely your boyfriend put on the condom incorrectly which caused semen to backflow up the sides and out the top. In addition, when a man is done ejaculating, his penis returns to its normal size, but that gives space for the semen to run out of the condom. Thus it is very possible for some semen to drip where you did not want it to go. While the odds remain very slim that this will cause a pregnancy, it is not impossible. The peak time for you to become pregnant is two weeks before your next period. However, sperm from the semen can survive up to six days in your body, so sex within two to three weeks of your next period can cause pregnancy. Of course, it is difficult to say precisely when your next period will begin.

You'll just have to wait and see if this results in a pregnancy or not. But in the meantime you both need to decide if you live God's way or not. If you do, then you need to take steps to keep the opportunities to sin at a minimum. Talk is cheap -- you need to put godliness into action.