The Girls' Growing Up in the Lord

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I am pretty sure that my period will begin within the next few days. I was visiting my boyfriend and he pressed his naked genitals up against mine; harmlessly, I might add. He was releasing the clear fluid before ejaculation, but because I was a little nervous, I refused to let him get too close to the vaginal opening. Now, I know it is possible for the clear fluid to contain sperm, so my question is: what is the chance of pregnancy?

Morgan (age 20)


No one can give you a guarantee that it could not happen, but the odds are extremely low. You have a far greater probability of picking up a sexually transmitted disease.

What leaves me shaking my head in sorrow is your idea that what happened was harmless. You were alone with a man to whom you weren't married who was naked, or at least exposing his genitals, and sexually aroused. You imply that you also were not properly clothed and had your genitals exposed. Then you mention that two of you were pressing your genitals against each other. ... And you foolishly call this "harmless"?

The only reason he didn't get his penis into you was because you were "a little nervous." So what's going to happen when you get comfortable? Or he gets impatient? You playing with fire, thinking that since it didn't go farther than you wanted this time that it is harmless. "Can a man take fire to his bosom, and his clothes not be burned? Can one walk on hot coals, and his feet not be seared? So is he who goes in to his neighbor's wife; whoever touches her shall not be innocent" (Proverbs 6:27-29). The nature of all sin is progressive. It is a part of its deceptiveness. You convince yourself that "nothing" happened last time, so it won't be so bad to do the same this time or perhaps go just a little bit further. Eventually it will go much further than you wanted, and you can't claim you were innocent in the matter.

You are involved in sexual touching with your boyfriend. "It is good for a man not to touch a woman" (I Corinthians 7:1). It is the beginning of sexual intercourse, the part that is known as foreplay. But since you are not married, it is fornication. You are involved in the beginning acts of sex without a covenant between you and the man who longs to impregnate you. "Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived. Neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor homosexuals, nor sodomites, nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners will inherit the kingdom of God" (I Corinthians 6:9-10). And there is no harm?

Obviously you have awakened lust in your boyfriend. He was aroused and if he could he would have engaged in intercourse with you, even though you weren't married. "But I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart" (Matthew 5:28). Of course, you went much further than just looking. Do you think that God hold you innocent for inspiring sinful thought in other? "For the commandment is a lamp, and the law a light; reproofs of instruction are the way of life, to keep you from the evil woman, from the flattering tongue of a seductress. Do not lust after her beauty in your heart, nor let her allure you with her eyelids" (Proverbs 6:23-25).

Lust is not what Christianity is about. "For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you should abstain from sexual immorality; that each of you should know how to possess his own vessel in sanctification and honor, not in passion of lust, like the Gentiles who do not know God" (I Thessalonians 4:3-5). Neither one of you are treating your bodies honorably or something holy and special. Instead you are using your bodies to create lust, sinful thoughts, and sinful actions.

"Therefore, since Christ suffered for us in the flesh, arm yourselves also with the same mind, for he who has suffered in the flesh has ceased from sin, that he no longer should live the rest of his time in the flesh for the lusts of men, but for the will of God. For we have spent enough of our past lifetime in doing the will of the Gentiles--when we walked in lewdness, lusts, drunkenness, revelries, drinking parties, and abominable idolatries" (I Peter 4:1-3).

Isn't it about time you leave your sins behind?