The Girls' Growing Up in the Lord

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I'm 14 and I want to know why do I have a very bad urge to see my boyfriend naked? It all started after I ask my boyfriend if I could feel his genitals and he let me feel them. After that I've been having a bad urge to see him naked. Should I follow my urge or stop?


I'm left wondering if you are asking an honest question or just having fun with the preacher. You know who you are writing and you called your urge "bad" without my having to point it out. So I'm left wondering what is your motivation. However, there are some points that can be made from your note.

The urge you claim to feel is called "lust," a strong urge to do something that is typically viewed as being wrong. Sexual touching is condemned in the Scriptures. See: "What types of touching is forbidden?" for details. For many of the same reasons, seeing your boyfriend naked is also condemned because it arouses sexual passion in both you and him.

If you want to get to heaven, then you need to repent of your sins because you can't get there in the direction you are going. But if you insist on following your urges, realize that you are playing with a fire that you can't easily control. "Can a man take fire to his bosom, and his clothes not be burned? Can one walk on hot coals, and his feet not be seared? So is he who goes in to his neighbor's wife; whoever touches her shall not be innocent" (Proverbs 6:27-29).

You are stirring up sexual passion in both yourself and your boyfriend, and both of you understand it. What you don't realize is the strength of those passions. What you start your body will want to complete. One thing will lead to another and before you realize it your boyfriend's penis will accidentally be in your vagina, but it won't really be an accident because you encouraged it. Rather than writing me later about how you are pregnant and your boyfriend has dumped you for someone new, put an end to it right now. Save your body for the man who loves you so much that he commits himself for a lifetime to you in marriage. Then you won't be wondering if it is right or wrong.