The Girls' Growing Up in the Lord

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Question

My school has a homecoming dance where girls and guys go together. Is it okay for me to go with the boy who asks me and dance with him? Or should I just go with my friends or just not dance with him?

Answer

This might be difficult to do because you indicated that you have already made up your mind that you are going, but I want to you to seriously consider several things.

First, what types of dances are you expecting will be done at this dance?

  • If there were no music going on in the background and you happened to walk in on a boy and girl doing these dance movements, what would think about them? Is that the message you want others to think about you?
  • What would you think if the boy you are going with danced those moves with another girl?
  • What would you think if the boy you are going with danced those moves with your mother?
  • What would you think if the boy you are going with danced those moves with another boy?

The big problem with modern dances is that the movements done to the music, and often times the words of the music being played, are all sexually themed. The reason the questions above make you uncomfortable is that they demonstrate that we know the dances have sexual innuendos, though most girls don't want to face the fact.

If you go, you know you are going to be pressured to dance by those there, even if you are uncomfortable with the idea. "Do you have faith? Have it to yourself before God. Happy is he who does not condemn himself in what he approves. But he who doubts is condemned ... ; for whatever is not from faith is sin" (Romans 14:22-23).

Finally, I assume the boy you are thinking about going with won't be sitting out of the dances. Hence, he will be spending several hours doing sexually arousing movements, that is going to dominate his thoughts. How are you going to handle his advances on the way home?

Sorry that I'm being so blunt, but you are old enough that you need to seriously consider the potential consequences of your choices.