Last updated on August 28, 2020
Question:
As a teenage male, I have a common problem with masturbation. I find myself confessing this to God every night, and telling Him that I won’t do it again. But I feel horrible because I seem to get an inability to not do it, even though I know I shouldn’t. I pray every single night that the Lord forgives me and I feel guilty because for some reason, no matter how many times I say I won’t, I always end up doing it. I recently asked the Lord to help me with a girl I have met that I want to be with and I feel that He is helping me, but it makes me worry that if I continue to masturbate then He will stop forgiving me and take away the help He is giving me. I am confused because I know the Lord forgives everyone who confesses their sins, but will He carry on doing that even though I keep doing the same thing? I don’t really want to do it, but I find myself unable to stop myself, and I consider it to be sinful. I am quite scared that the Lord will reverse the good luck He has been giving me and turn it into bad luck, but this doesn’t make sense to me either because I don’t know if that’s how the Lord would ever work. What is the best thing I can do? And could you explain to me if the Lord will, indeed “reverse” what He has sent me? Or is this irresistible urge to masturbate a test of God to test my self-respect?
Answer:
I can see why you are confused because you confidently assert things that are not found in your Bible. People tend to get themselves into all sorts of dilemmas when they use their own opinions or the opinions of others as their moral guide.
There are girls who convince themselves that it is wrong to eat. They try everything they can to avoid taking a bite because they are convinced that they will be fat if they do so. Of course, the body isn’t designed that way, it has to have food so eventually, the body takes over and the girl eats — not a little, but a lot because the dam has broken. Then she is consumed with guilt because she overate, and the cycle starts all over. It is sad to see a young woman trapped by Satan with her own misunderstanding. She labeled something as wrong that was a normal part of life. So Satan has her feeling guilty for being normal.
But look at the trap Satan catches young men in. The male body is designed to ejaculate. You have seminal vesicles that are constantly producing semen. That semen has an expiration date and eventually has to come out so that there is room for a fresh batch. A few men produce semen so slowly that small drops here and there can flush out the old semen when they urinate. But this doesn’t work for the majority of men. The body will force an ejaculation during the dream cycle of sleep, which is called a wet dream or a nocturnal emission. Or a man can trigger an ejaculation by masturbating.
You have assumed that masturbating is wrong, but having studied the Bible for years I know there is nothing in the Bible that says masturbating, by itself is wrong. Looking at pornography is sinful, and so are lustful thoughts, but God did not say causing yourself to ejaculate was wrong. Now, it is true that many young men don’t know how to masturbate without using pornography or pornographic thoughts to get themselves aroused to the point that they can ejaculate, but that really is a separate issue. I want you to read:
You might not want to masturbate, and that is your personal choice. But don’t punish yourself with guilt over something that God did not call sinful.
I’ve had several young men who would rather have wet dreams than to masturbate. Even though a wet dream is masturbating in your sleep, they are more comfortable with the idea that it happens outside of their control than in their control. That is perfectly fine. I’ve taught a number of people how to retrain their bodies so that wet dreams become a normal routine. See:
- How do I stop masturbating?
- How do I break this habit of masturbating?
- How long does it take to start having wet dreams after you stop masturbating?
When it comes to actual sins, God never reaches a limit when He stops forgiving a person who repents of his sins. ““But if a wicked man turns from all his sins which he has committed, keeps all My statutes, and does what is lawful and right, he shall surely live; he shall not die. None of the transgressions which he has committed shall be remembered against him; because of the righteousness which he has done, he shall live. Do I have any pleasure at all that the wicked should die?” says the Lord GOD, “and not that he should turn from his ways and live?”” (Ezekiel 18:21-23). Again, you got yourself worked up over something that isn’t found in the Bible.