I suddenly want a girlfriend for no apparent reason

Last updated on October 1, 2020

Question:

I’m 14 and I suddenly want a girlfriend for no apparent reason. I never cared about having a girlfriend or not before now. Ever since a few days ago, I’ve had an extreme urge to get a girlfriend and have a weird sensation. I don’t want sex or anything like that. I just randomly feel like I want a girlfriend. Is this normal? I occasionally get an erection when I think about it sometimes, and I can’t stop thinking about having a girlfriend. Sometimes I randomly think about it at the wrong time, like when I’m in school, and it affects how much I get done, so I was just wondering if this is normal or not.

There isn’t anyone in particular that I think about during these thoughts. All I know is that I’m thinking about someone, and she’s just the most beautiful thing I’ve ever thought of! I have no idea who she is or if I’ve seen here before, or if she’s just someone my mind made up. The only problem is once the thought is over with I forget what she looks like.

Answer:

There is nothing abnormal about you. You’ve just reached the age when sexual feelings are making their presence known. It is those feelings that drive men and women to find someone to marry.

Right now the feelings are mild and vague. Later they will get stronger. One day you’ll find someone you are interested in and your desire will get refined toward that person. The difficulty is that marriage is still far into the future, so you have to learn to manage your feelings.

Notice that at the moment what you are thrilled with is a product of your imagination. It is vague and hard to hold onto because it currently has no basis in reality. You are going to find that reality is a bit different and not as exciting as your imagination, but that is a part of the learning process.