Last updated on September 15, 2020
Question:
I’m not sure if this is a problem per se. I think it is because I have an overactive imagination but every time I see or read about a fictional character that is close to my age I get depressed because I want the my life to be more exciting, but I want it in ways that is not possible. For example I read the Percy Jackson and the Lightning Thief series three times because that is the way I want my life to be. Every time I see something else like that it makes me depressed and jealous. Why I’m jealous of a fictional character I don’t know, but is this a problem or am I overreacting? I know the way I explained this is weird and confusing, but I didn’t know what else to say.
Thank you.
Answer
There is an old curse that goes: “May you live in interesting times.” Sometimes we don’t realize that excitement includes an element of danger and people do get hurt.
But I suspect that a part of this is the drive to spread your wings and fly. You want to do things that is uniquely your own. But still, at your age, you have not developed the ability to always think things through. Teenage boys are notorious for doing risky things, not because they are trying to cause harm but because they didn’t realize that harm could result. By the way, that is one of the reasons why drivers’ insurance is high until you are 25. Somewhere in your early twenties is when guys start being more consistent about thinking matters all the way and are more accurate about assessing risk.
Think about the Percy Jackson character (yes, I have read the books). There are numerous places where he would have had a lot less trouble if he went to someone in authority. So in that sense, it accurately portrays how teenage boys act.
It is your parents’ job to protect you from your own recklessness until you are old enough to protect yourself. But that protection at times feels smothering to a teenager, even when they know it is good for them.
What I would suggest is getting with your dad and ask if you and he might do something different. For example, plan a week-long hike through the mountains backpacking, for riding in a bicycle ride around the state, canoe the boundary waters, and go fishing or something like this. The adventure is in doing something different, not in the amount of risk taken.