Last updated on January 2, 2021
Question
Hi!
I am 21 years old. My face looks like I’m a kid. Most people say that I look like 15 or 16 years old. I go to college, but people think I’m a high school student. These experiences caused my self-esteem to be very low. I’m anxious every time I want to do something. I’m scared to go to a job interview, or to a college class because I’m afraid what people would think “what is this kid doing here?” It also holds me back from talking to girls or meeting people my age.
I think I hit puberty later than average. I was pretty short until around age 16, then I started to grow more, so now I’m fairly tall. I have hair on my arms, legs, in my pubic area. My voice changed too. I started working out, and my body starts getting more muscular and masculine. However, I feel like my face stopped changing years ago. I have some facial hair, but not significant at all.
I’m more worried about the appearance of my face. It just looks like a 16-year-old’s. Is it going to stay like this? Am I going to be like this when I’m 30 or 40? I hate getting these comments that I look like 16.
I still have acne all over my face. I clearly remember that started to come around age 16 and it has stayed with me since then. I tried all kinds of products, but nothing seems to help. I would be OK with the acne, I just wish my face would look more mature and masculine.
Answer:
People judge age by a number of factors: the roundness of the cheeks, the texture of the skin, the fine traces of hair, and youthful problems, such as acne. Facial hair doesn’t fully develop until several years after stage 5 is reached for most men. When yours comes in, it won’t be as much as an issue. If you are still having trouble with acne, you may need to see a dermatologist to get it cleared up. A few pimples here and there is normal, but a constant amount may need looking after.
Right now you want to look older because you think that will gain you more respect. When you reach your forties, you’ll enjoy looking younger than other men your age.
However, the real problem is that you are letting other people’s opinions decide your view of yourself. So what if you look young and muscular? You are letting your imagination defeat you without even trying. Be yourself and if others think you are only your looks, then they are the ones with the problem. Instead of being embarrassed when someone says you look young, simply say “Thank you!” as if they are giving you a compliment.