Last updated on August 29, 2020
Question
I read “When is it appropriate to start kissing?” and your answer was:
“So when is it appropriate for a girl to kiss a boy? When both care for one another, when they are of an age that they are looking for a mate, when they seriously think that this person is the one, when they are mature enough to keep their passion in check until after they are married, and when they wish to express affection and not lust, then it would appropriate to give someone of the opposite sex a kiss.”
But what kiss are you referring to? This girl that I’m in a relationship with and I are both 17. We love each other a lot. I’m not referring to sexual love if there is such a thing, but deep care, affection, protection, etc. for each other. We look out for each other. We both think we are the right ones for each other. We are thinking, if it’s God’s will, to get married in three years (such a long time!). Also, we want to show affection by kissing. I have heard a lot of people talking about kissing, although they said “kiss when married,” but do they mean French kissing? A normal lip kiss? We want to kiss each other on the lips, but we will only kiss if it is allowed to do so, and if we mean to show affection by kissing. After all, there can be times where you do one thing just because you want to and not for affection.
Please can you help?
Answer:
I hope you won’t mind if I’m blunt since it seems general guidelines aren’t helping you. If a kiss makes your penis bulge or start dripping then you are doing too much or for too long. It is awakening your sexual desire and that is not safe when you are not married. If a kiss tempts either of you to put your hands on private areas of the body, then it is too passionate. If a kiss leaves you with lustful thoughts, then it was too much.
If you honestly think about it, long, extended kisses or “French” kissing where the tongue is involved is not appropriate for the two of you because it will create desires for sex that you cannot fulfill without breaking God’s laws.
Response:
Thank you very much.