Last updated on August 24, 2020
Question:
There’s this kid in my class. He’s been telling me for the past year that he loves me and stuff, but I thought he was joking. Now I think he’s gay or something. He’s a really nice guy, so what should I do?
- Tell him to knock it off?
- Tell him that I hate him?
- Tell him that we can be friends, but not boyfriends?
- Ignore him all the time
You got to help me sir.
Answer
Since you think he is a nice guy, telling him you hate him would be a lie. And ignoring someone who is trying to get your attention would be rude. The real problem is that you have someone you suspect is trying to lead you into sin and you don’t want anything to do with it. Ideally, you not only want to let him know that you are not interested in homosexuality but also to do it in such a way that you lead him out of it as well. That will take some extra care in thinking about how to talk to him.
“Let your speech always be with grace, seasoned with salt, that you may know how you ought to answer each one” (Colossians 4:6).
“And a servant of the Lord must not quarrel but be gentle to all, able to teach, patient, in humility correcting those who are in opposition, if God perhaps will grant them repentance, so that they may know the truth, and that they may come to their senses and escape the snare of the devil, having been taken captive by him to do his will” (II Timothy 2:24-26).
Because one danger in trying to help someone out of sin is being dragged into it yourself.
“Brethren, if a man is overtaken in any trespass, you who are spiritual restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness, considering yourself lest you also be tempted” (Galatians 6:1).
I would suggest picking a time when the two of you can talk without other people being around to overhear. But I would also suggest that it be a “public” place where he won’t make assumptions because you are bring up the topic. Keep in mind that you might have misunderstood his meaning this last year, or that this boy is not expressing himself as he ought to. So be kind.
Tell him that his statements make you uncomfortable. Let him know that it appears he is hinting that he is homosexual. If you can have a Bible with you and ask him to read I Corinthians 6:9-10. Then tell him that you are not homosexual and that you think homosexuality is a sin. End it with saying that you would like to be buddies, but never lovers and only if he will stop hitting on you.
I can’t predict where the conversation will go from there. Some people get very defensive about their sins. Some people get angry to have their secret sins brought out into the open. But once in a while, you find some who really want a way out, but just don’t know where to go. And it is always possible that it was a misunderstanding that can be cleared up.