Last updated on August 31, 2020
Question:
Hi!
I am a 15-year-old boy who just started puberty around a year or two ago. I mean, I have some hairs that are long down there. Well, lately I wanted to know what I would look like down there, so I would try to see my dad naked to get a sense of what I would be like. I know that is gross and disgusting and I’m not gay! I pray to God about this all the time thinking it’s the Devil trying to make me think of things. I want it to stop, so I don’t know what to do.
Also is it OK if my dad sees me naked on accident? I try so hard for him not to see me because, one, it is gross, and, two, I am embarrassed because I am fifteen and look like I am thirteen. I don’t want him to see me because I don’t look that mature and also it’s gross.
I just need some answers and I can’t talk to my dad about this because it would be awkward talking about! So please help me. I am a good Catholic boy who follows God’s rules and goes to church!
Answer:
Your curiosity is normal. Things are changing for you, and you would like to know where you are heading. However, there are good ways to find out about such things and bad ways.
Let’s start out with a basic rule. “Therefore, whatever you want men to do to you, do also to them, for this is the Law and the Prophets” (Matthew 7:12). You are now old enough to realize that there are some aspects of your body that you want to keep private. It means you are past the age of innocence. Like Adam and Eve, you realize that some parts of you need to be covered. “Then the eyes of both of them were opened, and they knew that they were naked; and they sewed fig leaves together and made themselves coverings” (Genesis 3:7). Since you see that in yourself, you need to give that same respect to your parents.
The general rule since the fall of man is that a person doesn’t expose his genitals to others. We make efforts to keep our privates private. “And those members of the body which we think to be less honorable, on these we bestow greater honor; and our unpresentable parts have greater modesty, but our presentable parts have no need. But God composed the body, having given greater honor to that part which lacks it” (I Corinthians 12:23-24). Of course, there will always be times when it can’t be avoided; yet, we should make efforts to minimize it. Being seen naked in front of others ought to trigger a sense of shame. “Your nakedness shall be uncovered, yes, your shame will be seen” (Isaiah 47:3).
You live in a household with other people. Most homes have rules to avoid embarrassing situations, such as you generally leave your door open, but if it is closed knock and wait for a positive response before opening the door. If someone forgets these basic rules, give a polite reminder: “Dad, please, I’m too old for you to walk in unannounced!” It isn’t that it is sinful for another guy to briefly see you naked, but it is embarrassing and the polite thing to do is avoid embarrassing ourselves and others.
The fact that you are maturing a bit later than your peers is annoying, but it happens to many guys. The odds are high that your father was a late bloomer too. Have you ever thought to ask him? If he was, he might have some suggestions on how to deal with it.
As far as what you will be like when you are older, everyone is slightly different because we are all unique individuals. There is a lot on this site about what to expect as you mature. A brief description of each stage can be found, starting at Stage 1 and clicking “Next.” If there are questions you have, I’ll try to address them as best as I can.
Question:
OK. Thanks, but I wondering is it wrong if your father does see you naked. I mean I know you have to cover yourself up, which I do, but what I am asking since he is my father it’s OK if he accidentally sees me naked like when I am in the shower, and he needs to use the bathroom. That’s OK, right? I mean we are both guys, and he did raise me from birth. Yes, I do feel embarrassed if he does see me, but I want to know if it is a sin for a father or a son to accidentally see the other naked? I listened to what you say about knock before you enter which I do, but say I or my dad forget, is that a sin? I really want to know.
Now, this is just wondering always if there is something wrong down there. Would it be wrong for a boy to show his dad the problem to see if he can help if you can’t get to a doctor?
Answer:
As I stated before, it isn’t a sin for another guy to see you naked. It is embarrassing, but not wrong. Exposing yourself or looking at another person’s nudity becomes wrong when it is for the purpose of sensuality — getting sexually aroused. Some people get a thrill from exposing themselves and shocking others. Others get a thrill from seeing others embarrassed. The problem is that these sorts of things can rapidly lead to hard-core sins.
But accidental glimpses are nothing more than that — accidental. There are going to be situations where nudity can’t be avoided. You don’t like it. You minimize your exposure and avoid looking at others, but at the same time realize little else can be done about it.
Let me give you an odd example. King Saul saw David as his rival and wanted to kill him. He chased David all around Israel.
“So David fled and escaped, and went to Samuel at Ramah, and told him all that Saul had done to him. And he and Samuel went and stayed in Naioth. Now it was told Saul, saying, “Take note, David is at Naioth in Ramah!” Then Saul sent messengers to take David. And when they saw the group of prophets prophesying, and Samuel standing as leader over them, the Spirit of God came upon the messengers of Saul, and they also prophesied. And when Saul was told, he sent other messengers, and they prophesied likewise. Then Saul sent messengers again the third time, and they prophesied also. Then he also went to Ramah, and came to the great well that is at Sechu. So he asked, and said, “Where are Samuel and David?” And someone said, “Indeed they are at Naioth in Ramah.” So he went there to Naioth in Ramah. Then the Spirit of God was upon him also, and he went on and prophesied until he came to Naioth in Ramah. And he also stripped off his clothes and prophesied before Samuel in like manner, and lay down naked all that day and all that night. Therefore they say, “Is Saul also among the prophets?”” (I Samuel 19:18-24).
Now keep in mind, “Let no one say when he is tempted, “I am tempted by God”; for God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does He Himself tempt anyone” (James 1:13). God doesn’t force people to sin. Therefore, the fact that God made Saul strip in front of others wasn’t a sin. Why was it done? God punished Saul for his wrongdoing by embarrassing him, and it did get him to leave David alone for a while.
Yes, if you have a problem around your genitals, there is nothing wrong with asking your dad for his advice. Nor is there anything wrong with seeing a doctor that includes an examination of your genitals. Doctors understand the embarrassment and take steps to keep such necessary exposure to a minimum.