Last updated on September 28, 2020
Question:
Hello,
I’m 15 years, and I’m a Christian.
Is it a sin to kiss another boy on the lips? This has been troubling me for a long time. There’s a boy in my society. I don’t know why but I have a strong urge to kiss him and have sex with him. I’ve been controlling this for a long time. I also hump him sometimes and I get an erection every time when I’m near him. We’ve been friends for a long time.
Is this normal? Is it a sin to hump him and kiss him on the lips (with the tongue)?
Is it a sin to date or kiss a girl who is not a Christian? I have a crush on a girl who I’ve known for about five years. We are really good friends. I don’t want to have sex with her, I just want to be with her all the time and care for her.
Please help me. I don’t know what to do. Thank you.
Answer:
Having sex with someone of the same gender is called “homosexuality.” “Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived. Neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor homosexuals, nor sodomites, nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners will inherit the kingdom of God” (I Corinthians 6:9-10). To put it simply, you cannot claim to be Christian and be a homosexual. The two are not compatible because homosexuality is a sin and Christians are not to sin. It is against a Christian’s nature to sin. “No one who is born of God practices sin, because His seed abides in him; and he cannot sin, because he is born of God. By this the children of God and the children of the devil are obvious: anyone who does not practice righteousness is not of God, nor the one who does not love his brother” (I John 3:9-10).
Even though you haven’t had sex with this boy, strongly desiring to do so is also a sin — it is called “lust.” Jesus illustrated the problem of lust by talking about adultery: “But I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart” (Matthew 5:28). The same principle applies to any other sin for which a person lusts. God makes no distinction between a sin committed in the mind and one committed in action, they are equally wrong.
However, you’ve gone further than just lusting for sin. You’ve started on the path of having sex by humping this boy (I assume with your clothes on). Such behavior is called “lewdness” in the Bible. Lewdness means acting like an animal with no restraint on your behavior. Male dogs will hump anything they can, but you are not a dog. “Let us walk properly, as in the day, not in revelry and drunkenness, not in lewdness and lust, not in strife and envy. But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh, to fulfill its lusts” (Romans 13:13-14).
Therefore, if you want to reach heaven, you cannot be kissing boys in a sexual way, acting sexually with a boy, or even strongly wanting to do so. “But fornication and all uncleanness or covetousness, let it not even be named among you, as is fitting for saints; neither filthiness, nor foolish talking, nor coarse jesting, which are not fitting, but rather giving of thanks. For this you know, that no fornicator, unclean person, nor covetous man, who is an idolater, has any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and God. Let no one deceive you with empty words, for because of these things the wrath of God comes upon the sons of disobedience. Therefore do not be partakers with them” (Ephesians 5:3-7).
All of these statements also apply to a girl to whom you are not married.