Question:
Is it OK to masturbate just to relieve yourself and not for pleasure? Perhaps not daily, but occasionally, if urges are getting intense? If so, then how should we do it so that it’s pure and not beyond the limits of the Bible? By “how,” I mean, should we think of anything? I am asking this to make sure I am not sinning in any way. I want to be pure.
In many other questions posted by boys, you’ve said to treat the urge similarly to going to the restroom (which is the best way to treat this). I try to treat it the same way, but I sometimes struggle with what I should think to calm down the urge so that I don’t end up sinning. How do I do so? Is it even right to think of anything while masturbating? Or should I just do it without thinking of anything in particular? What is your opinion?
I am ready to leave unnecessary habits. I don’t watch or have watched porn. My family doesn’t watch movies, and on YouTube, we skip unnecessary sexual content, like how it says in Matthew 18:9. All my problems here are private. I don’t have any public issues with girls. I am not ready for anything now.
If I feel I need to relieve myself after a few days to stop unnecessary temptations (I mean, if, like, after a week or a few days, I feel like exploding), what is the surest way to do it so that you eliminate all possibilities of sinning?
How many days, after pausing masturbating, might a boy get a wet dream?
I apologize for bothering you, but I just wanted to know some facts.
May our Lord Jesus bless you! Thank You!
Answer:
You know you need to ejaculate when the urge for sex rises to a distracting level. Masturbating feels good, and it is a relief when you ejaculate; however, masturbating simply because it is pleasurable leads to dangers in temptation. It is easy to make pleasure more important than staying righteous. This is how many guys get caught up in sins, such as pornography, lewdness, or fornication. They focus on the immediate desire for pleasure and lose sight of what is right.
How often you need to ejaculate will vary. It is based on how fast your body produces semen and how much semen your seminal vesicles can hold. Your rate of production varies with your hormone levels and how often you get aroused. The average young male ejaculates about twice a week; it can range from once a month to once a day, and sometimes, guys get hit with the need to ejaculate multiple times in a day. Thus, you have to gauge your current need on how distracting thoughts of sex become. That is a reflection of how aroused you are. If you are feeling like you are about to explode, then you definitely reached a point when you need to ejaculate.
Wet dreams occur when a male masturbates in his sleep. Some guys sleep through it and wake up finding out they have ejaculated. Others wake up before they reach orgasm and have to finish off what was started. Still, others wake up as soon as they start to move. They get erotic dreams but are unable to reach orgasm in their sleep. I don’t know which category you fall into. You can try to see if you can have a wet dream by not masturbating for a while. Usually, a wet dream occurs within two weeks if it will happen. I do not recommend trying to hold off to the point that you lose your self-control. Not ejaculating can cause your instincts to take over, and instinct doesn’t consider morality.
If you are highly aroused, it doesn’t take much stimulation to trigger an ejaculation. This makes concerns about thoughts less of an issue when you ejaculate quickly. If it takes a while, it is better to avoid thinking about anything in particular, or if that is difficult, you can find some non-sexual topic to focus on.
I don’t mind the questions. I wrote the Growing Up in the Lord books and started this site to give guys a moral perspective on issues raised by changing from a child to an adult.