Last updated on September 19, 2020
Question:
Hello,
My question is regarding things such as foreplay, and oral sex. I am a strong man of God, as is my girlfriend of nearly four years. We know that God is in control, and knows what is best for us. We don’t want to do anything wrong, and the Bible says it is natural to have many questions. And rather than make a blind decision, it was a no brainer to go to someone who has much more experience and wisdom.
I know that oral sex is frowned upon before marriage. But I was wondering, knowing its significance, and lots of care, if it is all right if you know you are to soon be married. We have been talking about marriage a lot lately, and that is something we are planning on making official very soon. Knowing that this person will be your wife or husband, would that make it all right?
This also leads me to the question of foreplay. We have never had a problem in the past with controlling ourselves. And we take much care in that. If we continue that, is foreplay all right as long as we know, and stop ourselves from going any further?
Thank you for your time and help, it is much appreciated. I look forward to hearing from you, with your insight.
Answer
See:
- My boyfriend and I plan to get married, so is oral sex wrong in our situation?
- Is oral sex before marriage OK?
- Is foreplay wrong if it doesn’t lead to sex?
- What is included in porneia?
I won’t question your strength of will-power to keep your penis out of your girlfriend, but the mistake many people make is assuming that only sexual intercourse before marriage is forbidden. Sins like lewdness, uncleanness, and lust are skipped over, yet foreplay between unmarried people involves all three of these sins. See also I want to do things right, so did I go too far with the girl I like?