Question:
I’m a 17-year-old Christian, and I have a question. What should I do about my Christian mother, who often argues with me over Bible verses? I’ve apologized to her in the past for the times I’ve started arguments, but lately, and on a few previous occasions, she’s been the one to initiate conflict. This usually happens when I tell her that I prefer to read the Scriptures for myself rather than just accepting her interpretation. I’ve tried to explain that I don’t automatically accept anyone’s explanation, even if they’re a Christian, until I’ve studied the passage myself. But this seems to upset her and leads to tension between us.
Today, we argued, and I don’t feel like speaking to her about the Bible anymore because she yells at me when I disagree with her. She got offended when I told her I wouldn’t believe her interpretation of a verse until I went to the Bible to read about it. She tells me that she’s the one who birthed me and that I should not tell her I don’t believe or trust what she has to say because that’s disrespectful.
Answer:
Personally, I would be proud to have a son who wants to understand the Bible on his own. I would still like to discuss his findings and talk about how he came to the conclusions he reached, but wanting to see it for yourself is a sign of maturity. Just because a woman gives birth to a child, it doesn’t make her an expert on God’s Word. Nor does being a parent give a person the right to decide what his or her children should think.
The polite thing to do is to listen to your mother’s point of view and then, on your own, look at the passages for yourself and study them. You don’t have to announce to her that you don’t trust her ability to reason, even if that is the truth. If she insists that you agree with her, just state that you need to think about it for a while.
If you want to discuss what you’ve learned with her, then keep it to the Scriptures as best you can. Have her argue with what God said. “I thought about what you said yesterday. How do you deal with this passage?” Notice that this doesn’t tell her she is wrong. It allows her to reconsider her position.