Last updated on December 17, 2024
Question:
I am a young male just a few months away from entering adulthood. I have realized that I need to leave my old lifestyle behind, which primarily includes my sexual fantasies. My main fantasy involves the belly. My main issue is that it has become so ingrained into my life that it feels impossible to remove it. I have practiced and explored it so much that it feels second nature to me. My main questions are: how do I go about removing my fetish for the sake of working to align with our Lord’s will? What sections of the Bible explore this life category further so that I can also explore it? Is it overall an extremely harmful sin toward my relationship with God, or should I accept it as a part of my being as I work toward improvement? How should I react when I “slip” back into this practice? This is all very new to me, and I’m still trying “to get hold of the ropes,” so to speak. Please let me know if there are any other things I should consider! I want to become what our Lord wants us to be!
Recently, I have experienced a sort of renaissance when it comes to faith. I feel I have been given the spirit that makes me work authentically toward becoming a better person who aligns with our Lord’s will. For instance, I have started reading the Bible (my Bible has a “Bible in 365 days” schedule in which specific chapters are assigned to specific days. I am currently reading the book of Isaiah and finished chapter 39) and watching videos regarding this spiritual journey. I have regained the rightful sense of purpose again and feel so much energy! I am ever so grateful for our Father to have finally come into my life like a “thunderstorm” that has flipped my life on its head, ultimately for the better. I could go on and on, but I know that my words will never be able to express the joy and gratitude I fully feel.
Answer:
First, I would like you to read “What does the Bible say about having a fetish?” to understand better the problem of having a fetish. The pleasure that comes with ejaculating is so intense that many males seek to replicate the feelings around the things that were involved when you first start to ejaculate. A fetish is not something to accept but to remove so that it stops controlling this aspect of your life.
“For this is the will of God, your sanctification; that is, that you abstain from sexual immorality; that each of you know how to possess his own vessel in sanctification and honor, not in lustful passion, like the Gentiles who do not know God” (I Thessalonians 5:3-5).
What God wants for you is to be holy and set apart for service to Him. You cannot be holy while involved in sexual sins. However, to stay out of sexual sins, you have to develop self-control over your body and learn to use it for holy and honorable purposes. However, you can’t achieve self-control if you are indulging in lustful things that stir up your sexual passions. Therefore, to achieve God’s desire for you to be holy, you have to start with removing the lust for sin from your life. Stop watching videos that feed your fetish and fill your spare time with good things. Learning more about the Bible is an excellent start.
None of us are perfect, and there will be moments when we may slip. It doesn’t excuse sin. “What shall we say then? Are we to continue in sin so that grace may increase? May it never be! How shall we who died to sin still live in it?” (Romans 6:1-2). Therefore, we don’t wallow in it. We might slip, but we pick ourselves up and continue the battle. “For a righteous man falls seven times, and rises again, but the wicked stumble in time of calamity” (Proverbs 24:16). Though we don’t deserve it, God offers forgiveness when we turn away from sin. “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness” (I John 1:9). Don’t treat it as a free pass to sin, but appreciate that God loves you so much that He will forgive those who continue to strive to follow His laws.
At the start, you may find living without your fetish difficult. You are still going to need to ejaculate, and the impulse to indulge your fetish will be strong when you want to ejaculate. It may even feel like it is impossible to ejaculate without your fetish but stick with it. Your body will eventually ejaculate because it must. And the more often you manage it without your fetish, the easier it will get in the future.
Question:
I want to mention that during this period of new-found purpose and spiritual renaissance, I have made significant progress.
I honestly don’t know how long it has been since I watched any of that depraved and sinful material, and my masturbation habits have now become incidental events that happen increasingly rarer as time goes on (when it does happen, I try not to rely on any external stimuli and so far I’ve been successful). I am also slowly beginning to control my thoughts better so that I don’t dive too deeply into sinful acts or thoughts.
Thank you very much for your response. It is much appreciated!
Answer:
Excellent! That is exactly what should happen.
My only warning is never to let down your guard. Never think that you’ve fully conquered the problem. “Therefore let him who thinks he stands take heed that he does not fall” (I Corinthians 10:12).