How do I get rid of this frequent urge for sex?

Last updated on September 17, 2020


In our culture, we have a proverb: ‘kusatenda uroyi’ (being ungrateful is equivalent to witchcraft or sorcery), and I would love to thank you tremendously for your web site. Thank you so much, please keep the fire burning!

I’m a 24-year-old man and have something that is troubling me tremendously. I’ve never engaged in any form of sexual activity (from as little as a kiss or fondling). I’ve never had trouble with my body, but recently I feel strong sexual urges. I’ve even realized that I now take notice of women’s curvature and it ‘turns me on’. I don’t get all agitated to the extent of running after them, and I don’t feel like I want to have any sexual relations with them, but what bothers me is how my body is responding. It never used to do that before. Sometimes I have a strong urge for sex, even though it only lasts for a short while. What is wrong with me? Is there a way I can stop all this?


There is nothing wrong with you unless you want to claim that living in an adult body is somehow wrong. God created the human body with desires to remind us when various needs should be taken care of. Hunger reminds you to take in fuel. Thirst reminds you to keep your fluid levels at their proper place. And the desire for sex is a reminder to get married because it is time to raise up another generation.

Getting rid of a desire means damaging God’s design and having the body not function properly. There are many people who would like to get rid of hunger so they won’t overeat. But the real problem is not the desire, but learning to manage it with self-control. The desire is there, it is noted, and then it is satisfied at the proper time and place. That is true for hunger, and it is true for sex.

Like other desires, taunting your body does nothing but make the desire stronger. To smell food cooking when you are hungry only makes the hunger stronger. Looking at pornography only increases the desire for sex. But worse, pornography presents the view that any sex, especially that which is forbidden by God is acceptable. If you want to control your desires you don’t put yourself in the path of temptation.

No temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to man; but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it” (I Corinthians 10:13).

Therefore, it is time to get serious about finding a wife