Question:
Greetings, minister!
As a teenager (17) who is in the finishing stages of puberty, I’ve been subject to a lot of the heightened sexual urges relating to this process. This has unfortunately led to me trying to deal with those urges through masturbation in conjunction with watching pornography and such. I’ve attempted to quit a few times, not very successfully, although my use of it has lessened somewhat over the past few months.
Recently, though, I found out a girl has taken a liking to me, and now I’m interested in possibly pursuing a relationship with her. I also came to the rational conclusion that my habit isn’t going to help me in that regard and that this is a good opportunity to end it.
For a few days (4 to 5 at the time of writing this) now, I have completely abstained from all that, in addition to removing enticing things from my social media that might be fueling those urges.
Do you have any tips on things I could keep in mind or what I could do relating to this?
Answer:
I tend to be very pragmatic when it comes to these issues. Pornography is a sin because it generates lust for sexual sins. “For this is the will of God, your sanctification; that is, that you abstain from sexual immorality; that each of you know how to possess his own vessel in sanctification and honor, not in lustful passion, like the Gentiles who do not know God” (I Thessalonians 4:3-5). Therefore, pornography should never be an option.
Masturbation is alluded to in several passages, but it is not labeled as sinful. However, young men often end up tying ejaculating and pornography together in their minds. The impulse is to look at pornography when needing to ejaculate because of past habits. Thus, many guys think that the way to quit pornography is to quit masturbation and all ejaculations. Unfortunately, you don’t have a choice in whether you ejaculate or not. Your seminal vesicles constantly make semen, but there is limited storage capacity, so eventually, it has to be ejaculated. Some guys ejaculate in their sleep through wet dreams, but others wake up before ejaculating in their sleep. These guys need to masturbate to get relief from too full seminal vesicles.
You seem to be on the right track. Limit the temptation to lust after women. Don’t masturbate for the pleasure. It is pleasurable, but limit the times you masturbate to when you need to relieve yourself and keep yourself under control. It isn’t exciting or thrilling this way, but it helps you stay away from sin.