How do you gain a really close friend?

Last updated on October 6, 2020


Dear Jeff,

I’m a 21 years old guy. I have plenty of friends of both sexes, but I crave for an emotional bond with a male friend. I don’t want any sexual relationship, nor any of those sinful attachments with him. I just want one friend whom I can hug, share things, listen to him, and hang out sometimes. In fact, if he could be a believer, I’d want to pray with him together too. It’s difficult for me because even though I’m not gay, people might think so because I just want to be close with them (in the course of time). I am not into “bromance” or anything like that, but I just want a male friend whom I can be closest tp after God. I want a “Jonathan and David” like friendship.

Could you please help me with biblical suggestions? How do you have a friend like this?

Also, thank you so much for the great help you’ve been to me. I know, the Lord showed me this useful site of yours when I was searching for answers to most of my sex-related questions. I used to be that guy who habitually masturbated with wrong motives of sinful pleasure, but now I have improved a lot. Now it’s all mechanical, controlled, and is in God’s hand. Glad to know that there are young people like me who are as confused about sex as I am. God bless you!


One aspect of friendship is that you are able to be friendly with other people, which clearly you are. But the depth of friendship that you are looking for is more stumbled upon than made. For instance, David and Jonathan met because David was working for Jonathan’s father, Saul. Over time their shared experiences made them close friends, but I don’t think you can say that they sought out such a friendship; rather, it developed from their appreciation of each other.