Last updated on September 19, 2020
I was on your web site for Growing Up in the Lord and I had a question. I know I’m a born again Christian, I serve God daily, but I really struggle with sexual issues. For example, I am always trying to compare my penis size to everyone else. Is this normal? I’m at almost 6 inches now, but I feel that it’s smaller than everyone else’s. I don’t play sports and most of my friends do. I think that if I had a bigger penis than them then it gives me more self-confidence. I know it doesn’t matter, but they are all muscular and sporty. I feel that if I were bigger than them, and I didn’t play sports, then I would feel better. Most of them have girls always around them. I know I’m good looking but not like them. How should I get over being so concerned with this?
Let’s put things into perspective. If you had bigger feet than everyone else in your class, would that make you better than them? No? Well, in the same way, the size of your penis doesn’t make you better or worse than anyone else. It has no bearing on who you are or even how good of a lover you’ll be when you get married.
The average size of a male’s erect penis is 5.2 inches and the normal range is anywhere from 3 to 8 inches [http://www.bjuinternational.com/bjui-blog/normal-review-analyzes-data-flaccid-erect-penis-lengths-men/]. Flaccid sizes vary greatly due to a variety of factors, such as how warm you are, how long is the cord that holds your penis up when you are erect, or even if you are semi-aroused. I very much doubt you are comparing everyone’s erect sizes so the comparisons you are making are inaccurate anyway.
Self-confidence comes from knowing who you are and being content with that. “For I say, through the grace given to me, to everyone who is among you, not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think, but to think soberly, as God has dealt to each one a measure of faith” (Romans 12:3). Each person has things he is good at and things he is not so good at. Sports isn’t your thing. Fine. But I’m certain there are things you are good at. Yet, the things of this world have little relative importance because none of it lasts. “Let us hear the conclusion of the whole matter: fear God and keep His commandments, for this is man’s all. For God will bring every work into judgment, including every secret thing, whether good or evil” (Ecclesiastes 12:13-14).
The guys who will drop their pants for the least provocation are a dime a dozen. Good Christian men who treat girls with respect and honor are rare and seem to be getting rarer. You have something to offer girls that they can’t find elsewhere. True, there are a lot of girls who don’t care about moral values or being treated with respect, but the girls you can attract are the one’s the other guys won’t have a chance with.
So be yourself. Don’t make your happiness dependent on things you can’t control and which make no difference. “Rejoice, O young man, in your youth, and let your heart cheer you in the days of your youth; walk in the ways of your heart, and in the sight of your eyes; but know that for all these God will bring you into judgment. Therefore remove sorrow from your heart, and put away evil from your flesh, for childhood and youth are vanity” (Ecclesiastes 11:9-10).