I feel wrong because I let a guy do something to me when I was young


When I was really young, I have this memory when some guy in my family did something to me. I feel so wrong because I let it happen to me. Can you please help me with my problem because I feel like God will never forgive for what happened. Please help.


I’m sorry to hear this. What you experienced should never happen to children, but evil is in this world and sometimes evil is done to children.

Children are considered innocent in regards to sin. When Israel rebelled against God by refusing to go into the promised land, God held the adults responsible for the rebellion, but not the children. “Moreover, your little ones who you said would become a prey, and your sons, who this day have no knowledge of good or evil, shall enter there, and I will give it to them and they shall possess it” (Deuteronomy 1:39). The same is true for you. You didn’t know the true meaning of what was happening until later when you started to mature. The one guilty of this sin is the person who did it to you, but you are not held responsible for that sin committed against you as a child.

Children want to please the older people around them. They tend to accept whatever the older person tells them. And when sexual things are done, a child only knows that in some ways it feels good. It isn’t until he mature that he realizes exactly what was done and that it was wrong. But this creates a dilemma in the child’s mind. He remembers accepting the sinful act and that he found it enjoyable at the time, but now he knows it was wrong and perhaps disgusting. Most people can’t deal with that conflict and as a result a variety of bad behavior results. A child might:

  • Decide that he is evil.
  • Repeat the sin with another child to prove to himself that it’s “normal.”
  • Decide he is homosexual and start getting involved in same-gender sex.
  • Try to prove he is not a homosexual by having sex with girls.

The list could go on and on. But in regards to you, you have the right idea. The best thing you can do is to resolve the issue in your mind and then put it behind you. I don’t know if you have become a true Christian yet, not a Christian in name but a Christian in your lifestyle, but I would like you to read How to Become a Christian. When you become a Christian, you are changing who you are, and then the past can be seen through the lens of “That might have been who I was, but it is not who I have become.”

Brethren, I do not regard myself as having laid hold of it yet; but one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 3:13-14).

I am willing to help you as I’m able, but realize that it is going to require some effort on your part. I’m willing to listen and help sort out all the questions and concerns that you might have, but you’ll have to let me know what is on your mind.