Last updated on October 5, 2020
Question:
Hello,
There was a day when I made one of my friends mad. I told him to maybe hit the gym. He got mad because I insulted him. He then hurt me by making a fist and pressing it against my back. He scared me because I was only joking with him. I never expected him to hurt me.
You said I have to forgive anyone who does me wrong. He did me wrong and I can’t seem to convience my mind to forgive him or to at least want to forgive him. I know it was my fault that I insulted him, and I regret it now. I already apologized to him. I don’t want to tell him to apologize because that might anger him. I’m not sure how to point out to him that he hurted me. What must I do in this type of situation?
Thank you.
Answer:
While I’m not certain why he took your remark as an insult, it remains that you both thought what you said was not polite. You apologized for it, which is the proper thing to do.
He acted wrongly to an insult by attempting to get revenge. “Repay no one evil for evil. Have regard for good things in the sight of all men” (Romans 12:17). Thus, it is not surprising that he is not inclined to apologize since he already isn’t listening to God’s teachings.
You can’t make a person apologize. You can only let him know that it was wrong to hurt another person. You did what you were supposed to do. He knows he hurt you, though he might not understand it was wrong to do that. Since the event has already past, look for an opportunity to explain to him that it is wrong to hurt another person. If you go demanding an apology from him, then it looks like you are only interested in your own ego. The whole idea behind this is helping another person to get closer to God. It would end up better if you look for an opportunity where a different person is involved.
What you need to do is let this “debt” go. Treat him as if it never happened. In that way, you have forgiven him, even if he can’t bring himself to forgive you of your insult to him.