Last updated on October 5, 2020
Question:
I have a question. I’m an 18-year-old teenage boy. I’m a Christian and was baptized last year. I’m just wondering: Is seeing my girlfriend naked without having the thought of lusting or coveting her a sin? I really love her. It’s been over a year and I don’t see myself having sex with her until marriage.
Answer:
Being seen naked in front of others ought to trigger a sense of shame. “Your nakedness shall be uncovered, yes, your shame will be seen” (Isaiah 47:3). One of the complaints God had against ancient Israel was the fact that they lost their sense of shame. “‘Were they ashamed when they had committed abomination? No! They were not at all ashamed; nor did they know how to blush. Therefore they shall fall among those who fall; at the time I punish them, they shall be cast down,’ says the LORD” (Jeremiah 6:15; see also Jeremiah 8:12).
The reason is that nakedness is associated with sex. However, it is not right for you to be thinking about your girlfriend in a sexual way. You are not married to her.
Just why do you want to see your girlfriend naked? I know you said you would not have any thoughts of lust or coveting, but as one male to another, I don’t think you are being honest in that claim. I’m positive that the sight of your girlfriend being naked will cause you to be sexually aroused. You can’t stay away from sin by seeing how close you can get to it without “crossing the line.” “But examine everything carefully; hold fast to that which is good; abstain from every form of evil” (I Thessalonians 5:21-22).
“Let us walk properly, as in the day, not in revelry and drunkenness, not in lewdness and lust, not in strife and envy. But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh, to fulfill its lusts” (Romans 13:13-14). Lust is strongly desiring something that is wrong to the point of justifying doing the sin in your head. You might imagine yourself refraining from lust, but experience tells me that it won’t stop there. Sin has a way of progressing. It is wrong to have sex when you are not married, so therefore it is also wrong to dwell on doing it.
“But fornication and all uncleanness or covetousness, let it not even be named among you, as is fitting for saints; neither filthiness, nor foolish talking, nor coarse jesting, which are not fitting, but rather giving of thanks. For this you know, that no fornicator, unclean person, nor covetous man, who is an idolater, has any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and God. Let no one deceive you with empty words, for because of these things the wrath of God comes upon the sons of disobedience. Therefore do not be partakers with them” (Ephesians 5:3-7).
Since you think she may one day be your future bride, respect her by not asking her to degrade herself.