Last updated on August 2, 2020
I grew up in a very conservative home and was never told about anything like this, ever; it would have been way too embarrassing. Now in my thirties, I’ve thought that since my teens that masturbating and ejaculation was me sinning, and that I was no longer a virgin. I decided that I wasn’t worthy of looking for a spouse since I was damaged goods. Thoughts that maybe I was gay did come into my mind, but I know that is a sin and I’m not gay. The devil is amazingly good at deceiving!
I went through a very dark time in my life with family deaths, drama, and so forth. I took comfort in having a ‘secret’ and made it into something I shouldn’t have. I have repented of this and took your advice that when I need to masturbate, I count to myself instead of coming up with something to visually arouse myself in my mind.
Thank you for freeing my heart and soul from a very heavy burden.
I’m glad to have helped and it is even better to know you got out sinful thinking.