Last updated on September 28, 2020
Question:
I am 19 years old. I recently inserted my finger into my girlfriend’s vagina two or three times. In between, I once touched my organ, but I did not masturbate; however, I felt very much heavy and uncomfortable in my balls.
After two days she called me and said that she is having a little blood like a monthly blood flow, but ten days earlier than it generally occurs. Is there anything wrong with this? What should I do now? I didn’t know about pre-ejaculate at that time and it might not have happened. I am not sure about that.
Answer:
Since she had her blood flow, she cannot be pregnant. Women’s cycles can vary in length, so that is not something unusual. But this doesn’t mean that you two had not sinned. You are only worried about being caught with consequences, but you should be concerned about your sinful behavior.
“Now concerning the things of which you wrote to me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman” (I Corinthians 7:1).
The reason Paul said that a man should not sexually touch a woman is because one sin leads to another sin. What sins?
- You exposed yourself. Nakedness before someone who is not your wife ought to be embarrassing. One of the complaints God had against ancient Israel was the fact that they lost their sense of shame. “‘Were they ashamed when they had committed abomination? No! They were not at all ashamed; nor did they know how to blush. Therefore they shall fall among those who fall; at the time I punish them, they shall be cast down,’ says the LORD” (Jeremiah 6:15; see also Jeremiah 8:12).
- While you did not masturbate yourself, you were masturbating your girlfriend. In the Bible that is referred to as lewd behavior. “Let us walk properly, as in the day, not in revelry and drunkenness, not in lewdness and lust, not in strife and envy. But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh, to fulfill its lusts” (Romans 13:13-14).
- Then there is the problem of lust, which is also mentioned in Romans 13:13-14. Lust is a strong desire for something that is sinful, so strong that you are willing to consider sinning to get what you want. I’m positive you have been thinking about committing fornication with your girlfriend.
My point is that sin doesn’t start when a guy puts his penis into a girl. It started long before that time. the reality is that you are merely looking for ways to get as close to sex without going all the way, but you are ignoring the strength of your body’s desire for sex. When you get sexually aroused, you don’t think things through. You go with the flow of the moment, and since you have already removed most of the barriers to not having intercourse, it wouldn’t take much to push you over the edge. Then you’ll be writing to me saying, “I don’t know what happened. We didn’t mean to go that far. Could she be pregnant?” Don’t start what you can’t lawfully finish.
As I’ve explained to other boys, once sex enters into a relationship, it tends to dominate it. Everything about you two getting together is about sexually arousing each other. The problem then is that you stop getting to actually know each other as people. The relationship stops developing and usually decays. That is why most teenage romances end.
Stop the toying with sex and each other. Be respectful of the other person and their privacy. Instead, focus on becoming each other’s best friends.